Bouncin’ at the Ball: Prom 2024 Review
As prom-ised, we are back at it again with another review of Sunset’s many school dances … this time the most danciest high school dance of all: prom.
The location of this dance had its pros and cons. Having no close parking spaces, one was forced to traverse the cold streets of downtown in order to reach the entrance where as usual, the staff stood enthusiastically with their breathalyzers. Only after receiving a precious black X-mark of sobriety were we permitted to enjoy the two-to-three flight trek up to the infamous Crystal Ballroom. The journey was not so kind to my heels.
I know you’re all just itching to know … Is the legend true? Do the floors really bounce?
The answer is yes. Yes, they do.
Believe it or not, the Ballroom’s characteristic bounce is not from springs. It’s not even from little gnomes under the floors jumping up and down. The wood is actually from the original structure built in 1914, and each floorboard is intentionally designed to rock up and down like a seesaw. It’s neat to think that people 100 years ago were dancing and bouncing right on that very floor, although it was probably to something good like jazz instead of … Drake.
Oh yeah, the music. The DJ, who was elevated above the crowd on stage this time, actually had some presence! It seemed he was actually taking requests as well. And if you’re like me and submitted at least twelve 80s disco songs to the song request google form and left the dance a bit disappointed, I feel you. But there were some true bangers, which were only enhanced by the little gnom — I mean, bounciness — of the floor. As it goes with any school dance, however, there were bouts where the crowd resembled more a field of swaying grass than dancing high schoolers. A friend went so far as to comment, “Is this Wednesday AT? Because there’s no movement …”
This phenomenon was fun to watch from a small balcony that looked over the entire dance hall. I briefly felt like I stepped into the shoes of a roman aristocrat watching gladiators battle it out below and sipping on red wine, except instead of wine it was nonalcoholic sparkling apple cider and the gladiators were sweaty teenagers in suits. It was a nice place to get out of the crowd, but the booming music was inescapable. Surveying my people, I was struck by the lack of underclassmen. Perhaps their energy was what was missing from the scene? Or perhaps instead their absence was to thank for the lack of body odor?
To my surprise, various refreshments were made available — as well as actual appetizers that did not include bags of gummy worms! The ensemble included tater tots, bread, varied fruits (yes, actual fruit), some brownie (or cake?) squares, and more. Most impressive of all, there were still some items left by the end of the dance. Water never ran out and lemonade was also provided, but the cups of sparkling apple cider ran out within the first hour. Truly, it was a bountiful prom this year. In fact, I almost regret not forcing my friends to feed me grapes on the mezzanine. It would have really added to the Roman emperor thing.
As the night progressed and the songs increased in quality, a massive, fast-traveling conga line suddenly materialized. As though agar.io and slither.io had procreated in front of our eyes, the sprawling mass started to suck people into its snake-like form. One moment you were idling on the dance floor like this emoji: 🧍, and the next, swept up in the moment, you were tripping over yourself to keep hold of the shoulders of strangers and friends. Sadly, that was the final moment of glory as those lines of people seemed to conga-conga-conga their way out of the venue.
The end of prom, as with any other dance, was a slow, painful death. It didn’t help that the DJ literally abandoned his station again, choosing a final song which was sure to appease literally no one. Toeing the delicate line of not slow enough to dance to and not fast or well known enough to be fun in any other capacity, Daft Punk’s “One More Time” was the perfect way to absolutely kill the vibe.
Overall, it was one of the better dances of the past three years. I’d give it a 11–12/12. There was food. There was drink. The floors bounced. I felt like Gargamel, stomping all those Smurfs under the floorboard. I mean. I didn’t do that. Because there weren’t any gnomes or smurfs or little creatures. Trust.
Anyways, everyone say THANK YOU to Leadership for the hard work!
