Prom 2023 Review: Unexpectedly Decent
By Cole Taylor and Ethan Tsai
West Bank Annex — May 22 — Against my better judgment, I went to prom this year. It was certainly an experience. One of the events of all time, that’s for sure. Is there anything I could say to encapsulate that wild night in a few words? Even if I had the eloquence of Shakespeare, the wit of Mark Twain, and the complexity of Dr. Seuss, would I be able to provide the necessary words to do prom justice? Yes, I would: it was okay.
This year’s prom theme was Midnight Masquerade, a noticeable improvement from the Zootopia theme we had a few months back. I know that Sunset Leadership stated that the Zootopia theme was simply an early April Fool’s Day joke — I’m personally operating under the assumption that the original theme was completely serious, and they only backed out when they saw the backlash from students. At least, I hope that’s what it was. It was super hard finding a good fursuit on such short notice, and I was very upset when I had to return it.
To be completely fair, the prom venue was quite nice. It was spacious, had adequate ventilation, and as far as I know, no one passed out from heat stroke this time. The highlight of the evening was undoubtedly the numerous water bottles passed out to anyone who wanted one. After last year’s homecoming, this was a welcome change.
The venue included a dedicated poker room for anyone who felt like they didn’t spend enough money on prom already. Some see gambling as unproductive and indulgent, but personally, I have to disagree. I think that many valuable life lessons can be learned through card games. For instance, in Blackjack, you are told to never hit on 15. I personally employ this advice outside of the game, and I encourage the rest of you to do the same. If anyone found themselves on a losing streak that night, just remember: never give up on gambling! It’s a well-known fact that over 90% of gamblers quit right before hitting it big.
I speak with utmost certainty when I say that prom this year wasn’t as terrible as it could have been. It was extraordinarily okay. Aggressively average, one might say. A mid-off of awesome proportions, if you will. Was it worth the $40 ticket? That honestly depends on your personal experience. I know many people had a lot of fun that night and made some good memories. I also know several others will be asking for a refund. As for myself, I enjoyed a fun evening that cost me absolutely nothing since I snuck in the back forty minutes after prom started.
