Tony Robbins has a lot of great concepts, but my favorite one is this: change happens in an instant.
You think it takes a long time, but it doesn’t. Deciding to change takes a long time. It’s easier to put up with the pain of not being who you’re meant to be, and not doing what you really want to do. It shouldn’t be easier, but it is.
So we wait and we keep hurting, only we find good excuses for it.
Of course, he loves me.
It’s cool to be single.
At least that job is stable.
My body is fine.
Then one day, the bucket overflows. We decide we’ve had enough and the moment we do, change happens. It’s all in that second.
Sure, maybe it takes a while to actually lose the weight or to get the courage to end the relationship. But the essential change, the change within you, has happened in that very moment when you say to yourself that’s enough. I’m not going to lie to myself a minute longer.
That’s the kind of change I’d like to help you achieve today.
You choose your identity.
I graduated from a private university and worked hard to get straight A’s on my exams because it meant a free ride. A few subjects were particularly difficult and professors were known for never giving A’s unless you’re Sheldon or something.
One of those subjects was math. I studied my ass off and during the exam, as, one by one, my colleagues handed in their sheets of paper with a sigh, an assistant to the professor looked over my shoulder and said “This girl is trying to solve the last one. I guess she’s going for a B.” That’s how much getting an A was out of the question.
I did get my A though. I had made a small mistake in determining a horizontal asymptote, but it was still enough.
Everyone was surprised: my colleagues, the other professors, everyone. I even got accused of bribery. One day, the dean of the Economics faculty entered one of our lectures and asked to speak with me in his office, where he pretty much cross-examined me to find out if any of those rumors were true.
“You’re the first A she’s given over the past three years, I had to check,” he said.
He did believe me that there wasn’t any funny business happening — and it helped that I had also aced his class.
The point of this story is not that I’m so smart because I’m really not: I’ve never used mathematics in life and had forgotten it long ago.
The point of this story is this: I am a straight-A student.
I came out of high school being a straight-A student and I went to university knowing that I am a straight-A student.
Everyone else was surprised that I had gotten an A in math. Not me.
Being a straight-A student doesn’t mean I never got a lower grade. It doesn’t mean I can’t fail. Anyone can fail.
But I fail as a straight-A student who somehow got a B.
I’m not an average student who has somehow gotten a bunch of A’s.
You catch my drift?
If you write successful novels, or blog and make good money, you’re a writer.
If you write unsuccessful novels that no one has ever heard of and have never made a dime, but you write every day, you’re still a writer.
If you haven’t really written anything, but keep thinking about writing and often start stories in your head, yes, you could still be a writer.
If you act in movies, you’re an actor. If you go to acting classes and go to auditions, but no one ever hires you, you’re still an actor. And if you’ve never actually done anything about it, but you think about it all the damn time, you’re still an actor.
Stop saying “I want to be …” Just be. You already are.
Here’s why I’m so certain.
You don’t create you, you uncover you.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” — George Bernard Shaw
Let me respectfully disagree.
For a long time, I was caught up in the idea that I need to create myself. I had to make myself be the person I want to be.
Then I realized I was already created.
Don’t get me wrong, I can identify qualities I need to develop to be a better version of myself, and I can let go of other qualities that stand in my way, but I already am who I want to be, or else I wouldn’t want it.
I just need to dig it out from under a massive pile of societal conditioning, limiting beliefs, negative self-talk,and all that drama.
Like a sculptor or an archeologist.
Here’s why this matters: creation is difficult. In our minds, creating an awesome person out of the mess we all know we are is a daunting task and we’d really rather chill out.
But finding — mind you, sometimes it takes more time and effort than you’d expect, yet it’s so much easier.
Finding the awesome you in the you you already are. That’s all you have to do. And you’re doing it already, whether you’re realizing it or not. Some parts are a bit more difficult to uncover, and you just trip over others, but you are doing it.
Here’s how you can speed up the process a bit.
Uncover your brilliant ideas.
Think about ideas the same way you think about your awesome new you: you already have them. They’re in you, roaming around your brain, begging to be caught.
It’s like in that Limitless movie. You noticed what happened? The guy took a pill and became a genius. He didn’t have to do anything in between. Pill → genius. You know why? Because the guy was already a genius! He just needed a pill to make his brain connect all the dots, but the dots are already in you.
The ideas, the inspiration, the creativity, the ability is already in you. The resourcefulness is in you. You just have to let these things run free.
Yes, learning a few skills will be necessary for you to achieve success. But learning those skills will be so much easier now that you finally know that this is who you are, dammit.
You are enough.
“When you know and believe you are enough you don’t need more. When you feel and believe you are not enough you will always want more.”
― Marisa Peer
Success will come, and so will failure. Money will roll into your account, and then they’ll roll right out. You’ll go through this life mastering every level at your own pace, in your own way, with your own natural brilliance.
And with work and just a bit of luck, you’ll get everything you’ve ever wanted.
But for now, I just want you to know that the person who knows how to do all these amazing things is already you.
It’s not a future you. It’s not you when you achieve X or Y. It’s you right now. It’s hidden inside of you.
You are who you want to be.
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