sweet ’n’ sour tape #21: GRADUATION
Good morning, afternoon or evening, Red. Welcome to your commencement speech —
We sure have learned a lot these past four years at Life University.
Some moments seemed bleak, and others felt like the start or end of an anime. In reality, life is more like the film Boyhood, except the end credits will never roll, and hopefully, it is more fulfilling / less gimmicky.
I can’t be too hard on Boyhood; the movie has grown on me. I haven’t rewatched it or anything, but I remember it more fondly.
Whenever I pass a significant accomplishment, I kind of feel like what’s next? No matter how big or unique it’s supposed to be. In Boyhood, major traumatizing events would pass on in the short-term memories of the characters, like the facts I crammed for finals.
Kurt Vonnegut had a similar perspective; after WW2 and living through the catastrophe of the USA’s firebombing of Dresden, he couldn’t help but feel a little underwhelmed. Instead, breaking down when he hurt the horse that helped him escape town.
It’s interesting what events turn out to be impactful.
My time at a four-year institution, much to the surprise of my Steve Jobs and Kanye West idolizing self, turned out to be highly fulfilling and worthwhile. I grew in ways that I did not think possible and received the recognition I probably do not deserve.
I am grateful for the lessons I learned during my time here. These lessons, like most things, are self-evident. And, I can’t help but ask if it was worth the price tag? But that is a discussion for another tape.
Let's look at three simple life lessons I learned in college.
They say showing up is half the battle; I say it’s 1/3 the other 2/3s is trying. Life’s gifts remain sealed until you go out of your way to open them. Trying is the key that unlocks all doors.
It is simple advice but very hard to implement. It is hard to gauge how much time something is genuinely worth and what your best effort is.
Regardless, it is essential to try, especially when you do not want to, to try when it rains for three days straight, when you fail, when you have a bad day, when you are late for the train, or especially when all of this happens in one day, please never stop trying.
Always go out of the way to try; if you do not try something, you will never know if you enjoy it or, even worse, if you are capable.
My constant trying pushed me to my successes even when I had no idea what I wanted to do, cried about loneliness, and made a fool out of myself. Through it all, I never stopped trying. I never stopped seeking new opportunities.
This trait has a downside; I’m prone to say Yes to everything, even opportunities or roles I should turn down.
For me, the opportunities that turned out to be a waste of time or a complete failure still taught me something, and that is worth the grief.
The universe wants you to succeed, but it will not show you how, so it is vital to take that leap of faith and try. The door will open, even if it is not the door you thought you were supposed to walk through.
Kanye was right when he said the only two emotions are fear and love. We perform certain actions because of fear or love. When we do something out of love, it is easy, and we become unstoppable. When something is done out of fear, let’s say it becomes the research paper I keep trying to forget about.
“Fear is the absence of love and fear is the source of all of our evil. Love is the absence of fear, and love is the source of all of our greatness,” and that is what we are striving towards.
This is also the best way for me to cure my Yes man syndrome. I ask myself this question, “Why am I doing this? Is it out of fear or love?” If it is out of love, I proceed. The best decisions are always the ones made out of love.
Loving yourself is also tangentially important. It opens the door for good decision-making and, like much of this list, seems deceptively easy.
I know from what I’ve seen that those who do not love themselves will continue to harm themselves. It takes an immense sense of love to become better.
Love is the water that allows us to grow. Decisions made out of love are the ones that will help us thrive.
This is funny coming from someone who missed their in-person graduation.
I’ve started to come to this understanding of life — relationships are what matter. It’s the lens through that I will view the world moving forward. The creation, nurturing, and growth of friends and chosen family is the most fulfilling way to see our journey towards the future.
The university I studied at has morphed and evolved into a whole new place, welcoming the next crop of freshmen to make it their own. In other words, the school I walked into in 2017 is no longer the same school I stepped out of in 2021, just as I am a changed person. But, the relationships and bonds I formed in school will stick with me for life; even though I may not speak to them anymore, its memory itself lights a spark in my soul — the many late-night study (procrastination) sessions, presentations, and especially all the stoned conversations at Narnia.
The same goes for you, too; the relationships you’ve created, mended, and just plain developed since entering adulthood are what truly matters. The successes are icing on the cake.
That is the holy trinity of Life university. Keep trying, keep doing things from a place of love, and make friends along the way.
If that wasn’t enough wisdom, here are some of my favorite commencement speeches —
The truth is life keeps going; even after the photo finish, this is only the start for me. The power of graduation solely depends on what we do next.
This is day one.
Now excuse me, as I practice being a punk monk.
