sweet ’n’ sour tape #3: wall
Wake up, work, sleep, I wish Temple was this simple. College is a series of checks and balances. Do I attend this club meeting or go to the job fair? Study right now or eat lunch? Netflix or Hulu Plus? It’s overwhelming and I’ve begun adjusting.
To keep my mind straight I’ve gone through the motions. Attending different club meetings and walking around campus. I’ve met up with old friends. Then made some new ones. Exploring Philadelphia from Fairmount to Old City. Even though all this on paper sounds phenomenal, none of this gave me any sort of satisfaction.
Philly has other kids enamored, by its air, its filth, its people, its atmosphere. I’ve lived here my whole life. So it’s strange meeting people who think of Philadelphia almost as a novelty and not a reality.
Temple itself feels like a city, with its own atmosphere. Temple’s aura is diverse and it’s color changes with each person I’ve met. From academically rigorous and pretentious with my friends in the honor school. Then nerdy and easy going at a Game of Thrones watch party. And, dull/irresponsible at frat parties or with my roommates. This nonetheless this only half describes my living situation.
Temple’s campus is full of people who don’t fit into these molds. It’s diverse, lively and boring, a living contradiction. You would expect the campus to be explosive, but nothing seems to ever be popping. The vast majority of Temple students stay in their lane. The school or at least Fox (the business school) doesn’t nurture personality growth either. People walk in to get a degree, walk out with a job, from chemistry to even art. Which is fine. It’s why my parents want me here. But, I don’t care about a job.
I want to enjoy my classes. I want to explore different ideas. Then create new thoughts. Learn about art and design. Use it to turn my thoughts into something real. I want the 20K I’m paying to better myself and a job will come with the process. The majority of people lack this kind of energy and the few who might are in a special club I need a 3.7 GPA to be a part of.
I may be an idealist but a career will come as long as I stick to my guns and follow my passions. Temple reinforces my belief that college isn’t necessary to pursue. Why have half assed gen-ed classes when the end goal of this institution is to provide a job? Temple University, at least for me, is a wall obstructing me from exploring not my creative pursuits, but myself as a person.
I can still overcome the wall. I need to find people that can help with creativity or my entrepreneurial ideas. And, slowly but surely I am meeting the right people. I’ve recently met someone who has his own streetwear brand. It’s amazing, but awkward to talk about my fashion ideas without any sketches to show ideas floating in my head. And, it’s hard to start working when the school makes me want to skip class and sleep in.
But, at least for me, I need to get over this ASAP. The only way I can break through is if I adapt. I get good grades, a part time job, join honors, or transfer to another school that may align more with what I want. In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy what I can at Temple. (Young Thug)
That’s been my week and a half. I’ve never been a fan of Kanye’s clothing, but that tracksuit picture was dope. And, as an Uzi stan, dropping Luv is rage 2 has definitely helped me through this week. Neon Guts is my favorite song.
What have you been up to? Did you meet up with the producer and found a studio? By the way, I didn’t make my face mask, a friend of mine did the main ingredient though is apple cider vinegar.
P.S If this has been a tough week preeth:
“I know it hurts sometimes but you’ll get over it, You’ll find another life to live, I swear that you’ll get over it, I know you’re sad and tired, You’ve got nothing left to give, You’ll find another life to live, I know that you’ll get over it.”
