sweet ’n’ sour tape #42: happy new year
Back to basics with this tape 📝
Oh the personal essay, the format that started these tapes off in 2017, turns 7 this year. The anniversaries of our high school graduation, freshman year of college, and LUV is rage 2 releasing all turn 7. The most jarring bit of this information to me is how infinite time felt in 2017. College felt like it would drag on for ages, we both had a chip on our shoulders, ready to make a mark, and grow into ourselves. 7 years later I think both of us from back then would be proud of us now. We overcame a lot of obstacles these past 7 years, and are living lives that they would be proud to see. I don’t think either of us exactly imagined to be where we are now, but I would not change anything.
7 is a lucky number, and I think we’re going to have a special year in 2024. In 7 years my external circumstances have changed dramatically, but I think the most drastic change is my relationship with time. It evolved tremendously in 2023, and I think the fruits of this internalization will be harvested in 2024. I’ve embraced that we’re limited in nature, and there is no difference between us and the movement of time. And, as our time on earth is limited, we’re limited. I still think the sky’s the limit, but not all the time or in every aspect of my life.
I ran a marathon this year. It’s a feat that required about 8hrs of training a week, and that was just for completion. Not easy to commit to espically for someone who had 0 athletic ability prior, but I did it. Those 8hrs running and stretching each week meant that 8hrs had to be taken out of other areas of my life. I could’ve spent that time writing poetry, I could’ve spent that time getting a masters degree (LMAO), or being a more devout employee at work (SMH).
Instead, I chose to run for multiple hours each week. It was a trade off I made to prove to myself that I can accomplish something difficult for myself, and just for myself. No one told me to run a marathon, my mom even warned me not too for a while, but I made it happen. I don’t regret the time I invested, but I had to acknowledge that it meant other goals this year had to be left to the wayside. It meant skipping hangouts with friends, improv shows, or even worrying about the tangelo poetry account.
I now live life setting one major goal each year, and the year to me is made if that one goal is accomplished. Maybe the goals build upon each other to something greater, or maybe they don’t, and that’s all ok! It’s ok because at the end of the day we’re our attention. As long as my attention is spent on things I enjoy, I live a pretty great life. I want to enjoy mastering new skills, sharing my experiences that resonate with others, and having wonderful conversations with wonderful human beings. 2024 is going to be a great year if that is all supplied.
One other major thing I realized in 2023 were my values. I was walking around Paris and as I looked at the other tourists I kept reciting in my head, “The light in me, sees the light in you,” which is something Yoga instructors share at the end of class. As I recited that saying I had an epiphany. My values are Eat, Explore, Educate, the 3Es. I firmly believe all humans and by extension myself are meant to eat good food, explore the world around them, and educate others about what they explore.
At the core of me, that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life. Right now I’m focused on Explore. Creativity falls under exploration for me and some of my current goals, but over time I think I’ll start to lean closer to education. Food of course will be the constant. We should always be excited to eat a great meal while of course having a wonderful conversation in between bites.
In 12 more minutes from writing this, it’ll be officially 7 years from 2017, a pivotal year I’d say, and I think we’ll be ushering in another pivotal year with 2024. 2017 we were starry-eyed, but now we’re a bit wiser armed with what we learned from previous years.
2023 had a lot of ups and downs, but at the end of it all I reflect on how I’ve changed, and I’m proud of myself. This is the first year I feel this way. Thanks for being through it all with me. Thanks for being the day 0, a ride or die, and a consistent inspiration in my life. Love you! Happy New Year 🎉
