It Bores Me When People Say They’re Bored
Warning, this story could bore you to fears
As I laid in bed this morning, not knowing what to do with myself, I wondered how is it that in a universe of infinite wonder, we allow ourselves to become so bored? I remember then thinking “if I was to sprinkle dried herbs into my palms because I’m bored, would that mean I have too much thyme on my hands?”
Look, I’m not going to bullshit you, but you need to know that reading this story could be a complete and utter waste of your time. You may have been tempted by the light-hearted title, enticed by the author’s quirky bio, or even received financial payment from my dear ol’ mum, but please note you will never get the next 2 minutes back. Tragically these 2 minutes could be like an African American in US police custody, gone forever.
Having just spent the last 10 weeks up to my eyeballs in absolute madness, pretending to know what the fuck was going on — to the point my boss told me even if I was in need of a mental breakdown, there was a 6-month waiting list — it’s unsurprising I suddenly have the urge to write something creative about what I’ve learned about the value of time.
Hang on a minute!
- Your attitude to life is only as positive as your attitude is to time
