The Paradoxes of War
TL/DR: The psychological contradictions of War
Humans are attracted to conflict because it challenges them. When faced with mortal confrontation, one has to become something new in order to survive. These are the most defining experiences of human life, as old principles melt away, leading to either new principles or spiritual collapse. There is no greater evil than war, and there is no force in the world that challenges people more. Through this challenge, people’s truest selves are exposed. Veterans are thus left trying to reconcile the paradoxes of the best and worst part of their lives. It is difficult to articulate how an experience can be something you love and hate in equal measure, as every positive virtue brought out, has an equal and opposite cost.
Becoming Lethal and Vulnerable:
One of the earliest experiences of a warrior-in-training is actualizing their own lethality. Every man and woman on earth is physically capable of being a killer, it is whether or not they have been given the psychological tool set to become one that separates warriors and civilians. Through training, warriors are taught how to use arms, legs, elbows, knees, knives, and guns, to inflict injury and death. This knowledge has to be tempered with discipline, because with it comes a feeling of power.
A warrior-in-training realizes their ability to inflict injury and death in others, and just how easy that is. With the flip of the switch, and the press of a trigger, a warrior becomes a warden of mayhem and death. With this thought comes another realization, that one is as vulnerable as those they could harm.
By being made of the same blood, bone, and sinew as fellow humans, one realizes that their very survival is contingent on the goodwill and mercy of their fellow man. This breeds fear and anxiety, as through the training experience alone, a warrior realizes the destructive potential of every human soul. In order to conquer this fear, one must master the skills of warriorhood, train as hard as they can, join in a band of fellow warriors, and become an undeniable force on the battlefield. Anything less means death.
Being Fearful and Brave:
Conflict breeds fear. Men and women on both sides of the barrel are excited by their imminent mortal end, and dedicate themselves to whatever action will postpone or prevent it. This means fighting, fleeing, and surrendering. For a warrior, fleeing and surrender mean death.
Fleeing means that their side has broken and lost, and one will likely be captured and punished for their attempt at resistance. Likewise, surrender without resistance could lead to a disrespect for the warrior bearing arms in the first place, meaning that they will be singled out, and executed all the same. Only fighting offers them salvation, because if he and his fellow warriors prevail, then it will be their force that dictates the aftermath. This requires bravery.
Bravery is not the absence of fear, or the mastery of it, it is merely the directing of it. Fear is an instinctive impulse, and trying to control it with the conscious mind is like trying to ride a bronco with an unfastened saddle. It is better to let your fear direct your intelligent action with furious intensity. One’s fearful energy can be directed into training, planning, preparation, organization, and action. One can use their fear to drive that action, and corral the emotion into the direction of victory. This is bravery, and this is the virtue most exalted in warriors. It is what leaders look for in their subordinates, it is what makes an elite unit, it is what gives them the strength to fight in the face of unstoppable odds, and it is what allows them to prevail.
Our popular culture is filled with fearless heroes, but in reality we need brave ones.
Killing for something, and losing your faith:
Killing something is the ultimate commitment. It is taking a living creature created by God or the Universe, impossibly complex and beautiful in its mere existence, and crushing it for all eternity. We accept certain forms of killing all the time. We kill and displace billions of wild animals with our ever growing population. We slaughter billions of livestock to feed our polities. We do all this with an irreverence that would not be so easy if we were the ones doing the killing ourselves. We accept this reality because the killing of these creatures is deemed worth the benefit to our own species. In this way, killing must not be judged as an act in and of itself, but in the goal that it serves.
Destroying the fascist and imperial war machines of Germany and Japan are deemed righteous because of the aims and actions of both those Empires. The Cold War is viewed more complexly, but still vindicated by the history of Communist atrocity, and the collapse of the Soviet Union. Fighting and killing must serve a purpose, or else it will destroy those who partake in it.
There are born warriors, men and women who see struggle and fighting as a virtuous endeavor in and of itself. These men and women need no more justification than the defense of their society, and the actualization of their own nature. These are a rare and valued breed.
More common is the citizen-soldier, the man or woman who fights for their nation because they believe in the just cause. If the cause is unclear or unjust, then a spiritual demoralization falls on those who fight. Comparing the way in which people talk about World War II, and the the wars since, and this is evident. World War II is viewed as a great but necessary evil, and has since been romanticized as a great cause. Vietnam and the War in Iraq have been castigated as unclear and unjust causes, creating more destruction and horror than the feared mischief of Communism and Jihadist Terrorism.
When talking to disheartened Veterans, it is clear that the horror and tragedy of war overwhelmed their sense of purpose. It is hard to look at dead men, women, children, and livestock, and not wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t been there in the first place. Was the evil I was sent to fight worth this cost? Is anything worth this cost?
Compare this to Veterans who still believe in their country, its goals, and its efforts, and it is clear that they can look at the same horror and psychologically survive. It is not that they are any less scarred by the horror and deprivations of war, but it is that they believe that those horrors served a purpose. Their kills are an affirmation of that purpose. Denying the purpose, denies the righteousness of their ultimate commitment.
To be clear, I believe that Fascism, Communism, and Jihadist Terrorism are all abhorrent ideologies that should be fought in every manner possible. However, I will not deny that our own leaders have lied through omission and commission, to manipulate the population to fight and die for the cause, and for the economic benefit of the Western world.
Being a Brother and Alone:
There is no tighter bond than with those you kill and die with. Warriors train together, eat together, sleep together, kill together, and die together. When pressed into a tribe, under constant mortal threat, strangers become closer than family. Enduring hardship, viewing horror, fighting as a team, and winning the prize of your own life, is such a harrowing experience that it is with little wonder that warriors find it difficult to relate to anyone else. They are a culture within a culture, responsible for the survival of both. While others enjoy the fruits of society, warriors are in fields of blood and shit.
Particularly in America, warriors are ejected back into a rudderless society. There is a honeymoon phase where liquor, sex, and creature comforts are enjoyed with gusto, but that kind of living is unsustainable. In the corners of their mind, Veterans do not believe they deserve the small joys of daily life, because they think of those still in the field, or lost brothers eternally without opportunity. This eventually turns homecoming celebrations into living wakes.
After the hangover, Veterans are thanked for their service, and unceremoniously handed a mop and bucket to help put themselves through college. They have the unenviable task of looking for meaning in a society that says your own happiness is life’s chief goal. This isn’t just a contradiction, it’s an insult.
For half a decade or more, warriors were told and acted as if their lives were only worth something if it could be willingly sacrificed to serve their brothers and sisters. They were told that they were servants in a great cause, worth the daily sacrifices they made. To be told that there is no brotherhood to belong to, or cause to fight for, leads to a nihilism and emptiness that has claimed more lives than our wars.
Because of the intensity of war, and the comparative banality of daily life, it is hard to find new purpose. Life is lived in a numb, half-dream, waiting to be dragged back into the world of killing and death. With every day, the demands of daily life seem more pointless, and the excitements of the war more cherished. The difficulty of predatory economics, the withering of religion, and the collapse of the family has done nothing to help this challenge.
With brothers still in the field, or windblown across the country, many Veterans are alone.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Service has taught them more than that, including self-reliance, ingenuity, and tactical thinking. By viewing the suffering of the world as the enemy, and their community as their family, Veterans can bring formidable personalities and skills to bear. Through volunteer work, political involvement, hard work, and a new family, Veterans can be a catalyzing force in their community, achieving great things with personal effort.
The struggle doesn’t stop when warriors get home, it is just different.
