Thank You, TV, For Turning Me Into a Shut-In
This Thanksgiving, I single out the eight things about TV culture this year that I’m most thankful for
I used to be a book critic. Which was easy when I didn’t have cable, throughout the nineties and early aughts. But then I fell in love with a woman who had cable. And it happened to coincide with dawn of The Sopranos. And then the premiere of Six Feet Under. And, well, I was in love. (Both with my now wife, and with HBO’s new offerings.) I had to find a way to segue from book criticism to TV criticism, to justify my obsession. Because you couldn’t just unabashedly love TV in the late nineties and early aughts. You had to justify that love by making it your trade. Or, well, I felt I did. But that was then. These days, if you say you don’t watch TV, it’s like saying you don’t read, or eat beyond what’s necessary.
I’m thankful for a lot of things — the ability to write about TV for a living being among them. Because it affords me the opportunity to express my gratitude for the wonderful stories and performances I’ve watched this year — and the different ways it was delivered to my various screens.
- I am thankful for the funny women of Saturday Night Live, and especially Kate McKinnon. I can’t remember the last time SNL made me laugh so much. Never has there been a season since the dawn of DVR when I have resisted using the FWD button through most of the sketches. But not this season. Kate McKinnon, who is arguably the funniest cast member, along with the consistently hilarious, incredibly talented Cecily Strong, Vanessa Bayer, Nasim Pedrad, Aidy Bryant, and newbie Noël Wells, dominate this season — beginning in the season premiere with their pitch perfect send-up of Girls — the men retreating to a Greek chorus. (Honestly, I can’t even remember most of the new male cast members’ names, except Mike O’Brien’s, in part because of his awkward, genius “Seven Minutes in Heaven With Mike O’Brien” web series, and in part because he’s been in the SNL writers’ room since 2009.) McKinnon’s got a Meryl Streeplike ear for accents,and an incredible catalog of impressions (She was even invited on Ellen to show off her impression of the host ). And McKinnon’s invented characters — like Sheila Sovage, the last woman at the bar — are indelibly weird in the best possible way. She’s fearlessly licked Louis C.K.’s head from hairy chin to bald pate, and tongue-kissed Nasim Pedrad while playing a coked-up beauty queen, but can just as easily turn down the volume to play a wistful Angela Merkel, here. Girl’s got range.
2. Thank the deranged lord for American Horror Story: Asylum. Is that weird? Hell, yes, especially since Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk bravely skewered the Catholic church — and, is it any coincidence that Pope Benedict XVI was the first pope to abdicate since 1415, mere months after the season finale? The genre-bending story, which also took on the mental-health industry, homophobia, and racism, is a true masterpiece, and the exquisite performances, led by Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson, will haunt you long after that nerve-shattering, heart-rending finale. Best drama of the year, period.
3. While we’re on the subject of things deranged, I am also grateful for Hannibal. And it is truly one of the most beautifully filmed. I really can’t believe it’s on network TV — the procedural aspect of the series is absolutely gruesome. But it also, forgive me for saying so, serves more like a backdrop to what this show actually is: one of the best psychological thrillers of recent memory, between two FBI consultants, one a shrewd cannibalistic serial killer, who just happens to be a brilliant, dapper shrink (Mads Mikkelsen is incredible in the role) and an-easy-to-gaslight mentally incapacitated profiler (Mr. Claire Danes, a.k.a. Hugh Dancy), whose rare ability to empathize with the murderer enables him to envision the motive, the murder, and therefore find the killer. An additional bonus: Gillian Anderson has a recurring role. Which, for me, would be reason enough to tune in.
4. I’m grateful I finally broke bad. I resisted the series for so long. I just couldn’t give a shit about some white male dystopic midlife crisis, and meth, even as a metaphor, just bores me to manic tears. But my love for Bryan Cranston, Anna Gunn, Dean Norris, and Giancarlo Esposito is boundless. Plus: I really hate not being part of the conversation. And this is one of those shows that you have to tune in in real time — if you watch it even an hour after it airs, don’t look at your Facebook and Twitter feeds, or bitch at your friends for posting spoilers. It’s your own damn fault. Earlier this summer, I went on a methlike bender to catch up before the second half of season five. Holy &^%$$#! I had to watch an episode of Parks and Rec every night as an antidote to ensure I’d have Sweetums dreams of Leslie Knope and not get Jammed. Though I hated the way Walter got a heroic death in the end, I loved those Sunday nights — and I miss ‘em like crazy.
5. What would I do without @unfoRETTAble, a.k.a. Retta from Parks and Recreation? Reading Retta’s Twitter feed while she’s watching an awards ceremony or binge-watching back episodes of Scandal, The Good Wife, Breaking Bad, or my favorite in her broad repertoire, Girls, is one of life’s great pleasures. It’s like sitting on the couch next to your best friend. If your best friend happens to be one of the funniest women ever.
I’m also thankful for this appearance on Conan. Check out this fantastic setup! Those pipes! Is there anything Retta can’t do?
6. And while we’re on the topic of people you want to watch TV with: The art of recapping. Especially a practitioner like Rachel Shukert, whose recaps of Smash were better than the increasingly unwatchable series itself. I stopped watching the show and just read her in Vulture every week. And laughed so hard I’d considered stealing my kid’s Pampers. Barely an exaggeration. Now I’m obsessed with recaps on Vulture by Rakesh Satyal on American Horror Story: Coven, and Julie Klausner on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. But of course I’m partial to “The T.V. Age’s” Brian Moylan, whose recaps of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are pure comedy gold.
7. Orange Is the New Black redeemed summer-viewing pleasure, and for that I am grateful beyond words. What a delightful surprise, this funny, smart, irreverent, genuinely moving series, based on Piper Kerman’s best-selling memoir of the same name. Creator Jenji Kohan (Weeds) does what would seem impossible: She’s created an ongoing, entertaining dramedy while remaining faithful to the spirit of the memoir of a living author — and not only Piper, but her husband, and the people she met in prison. Plus: The show boasts the most diverse cast of actresses on TV (well, online programming, but also TV): gay, straight, black, Latina, and white, many of whom we’d never seen on TV before — stage actors, fresh-out-of-college actors —and some of whom, like Natasha Lyonne, Lea Delaria, and Kate Mulgrew, we are so happy to be reunited with. And because Orange is a Netflix-streaming original series, you can watch as many episodes as you want, whenever you want. So you can pretend you are only going to watch one, but six hours later, you find yourself saying, “Just one more.” Jenji, please hurry, we’re dying for season two!
8. And I am so, so, so thankful for Tina and Amy hosting the Golden Globes. Now and forever … or at least another year. (And for Seth MacFarlane never hosting the Oscars again.)
