Story #16

I knew it would be the last time that I would see him.

He made a joke, something shit. He always makes jokes. It is his way of dealing with life. Sad? He makes a joke. Happy? He makes a joke. Anxious? Nervous? He makes a joke. I laughed by default, though I didn’t even hear it. My senses were closed. I was focussing inwards. What would happen when he doesn’t come back? Will I have to wait to hear the word or can I presume he is gone, go on with my life? I won’t have to buy beer any more. That will make shopping easier. I always end up having to carry a 12 pack.

I felt numb inside. No not numb, with numbness you get the sensation of feeling, though much reduced. I had a vacuum inside me. A nothingness. Scientists were coming round next week to study quite how empty a human being could be inside. It was a wonder my body didn’t collapse under the pressure. He looked at me the way he does, squinting, studying my face. He said something soft, something soothing. It slid into my ears and got lost in the vacuum.

The other men turned up in their car and he jumped in.