1 on 1: Make it Count!

“Why do we need a 1 on 1?” I was asked recently. “We already have daily stand ups and team meetings…” the person continued, “My manager is up to date with all my projects I am working on…”.
This is a part of the conversation I recently had with an acquaintance. I was told that their manager had stopped having 1 on 1’s after moving to “Agile” as now there was more “project awareness”. Two things immediately came to my mind:

• First, neither this person nor their manager fully understood why 1 on 1’s are important. Turning this meeting to a project status update is not the best use of time. I actually agree on the fact that if they were using them simply for that purpose then there was no point in continuing them. At least they are saving time!
• Second, although we have seen companies placing emphasis on having 1 on 1’s I have noticed that a lot of these meetings become just that: project catch ups. This is not the first time I have observed this. It is more common than you might think.

So I decided to write about it. Let us get to the point then, shall we?

Why is 1 on 1 important?

Picture This: You have a team of awesome developers. They are working on a project with Foo being the tech lead and it is going pretty well. Foo is meeting all the timelines and the project is on schedule. You have had regular 1 on 1’s with Foo where you have been discussing all the milestones and deliverables for the project. There have been some challenges that Foo has successfully navigated as well. All in all Foo is your “rockstar”! Not so fast though! Next Monday, Foo comes and breaks it to you that she is moving to the Bar team…

You are confused and refuse to believe her!

You: “What? Why?”
Foo: “For sometime now, I have been unsatisfied with the overall role that I am playing in the team. I enjoy working within the team and writing all the code but of late I have been more and more involved with a lot of project management with different teams and it has taken a lot of my time away from what I like doing.”
You: “I don’t understand. I thought you liked taking more responsibility and I gave it to you thinking you can handle it. And frankly I am completely blind sided by this. You never brought this up earlier.”
Foo: “Actually I tried, but most of our meetings were mostly occupied on making sure the project is being executed well and on time. Nevertheless, I did mention it a couple times that it is getting challenging to do all the work and a lot of my time is being consumed in meetings. But we never followed up on that.”

Now here are a few things that go through your head:

• That Foo should have been more transparent about it with you.
• That you gave Foo additional responsibility as a “reward” in lieu of good performance to increase her role in the team and you can’t believe that it backfired!
• You don’t believe that this is the reason for Foo to switch and something else must be going on.

Now you have a unpleasant situation at hand that you need to deal with. You need to break this to your manager and the team. There will be some explanation to do. You decide to lay your thoughts in front of your manager. But have you thought it through? Here is what your manager might ask you:

• Did you have a good enough rapport with Foo that she was comfortable discussing her dissatisfaction with you frankly?
• Did you know Foo well enough to assume that she would like the new responsibilities? Was it discussed beforehand?

Oops! The situation just turned from bad to worse! Your manager would expect concrete answers. No one wants to lose a good performer from the team (How do you know that there might not be more flight risks in your team?). And the situation is an unpleasant one for everyone involved: you, Foo, your manager and your team.

And that is why 1 on 1’s are so crucial. You might be partially right on the the fact that Foo could have been more transparent about the whole situation. But the fact of the matter is that it is your responsibility to realize that every person is different and you have to make sure that you have a good enough relationship with your team members to minimize such occurrences. That is a part of your job! 1 on 1’s can serve as a an extremely effective tool for both the manager and the individual contributor. Here is how a 1 on 1 can help:

• “Knowing” your team: You know that Fizz is good at system designs while Buzz knows the most about the code base. Being aware of a team members skillset is only a partial picture. Knowing someone is much more multi dimensional. In order to maximize their potential and happiness/satisfaction index (as well as the team’s) you need to be know a lot more about them: areas of interest, their personalities, their goals and challenges to name a few.
• Aligning the vision: It is your responsibility to have each of your team member understand the short term and long term vision. Typically this happens in team meetings but it is equally important to follow up with each person to discuss any concerns/questions in more details. Some people might not be comfortable opening up in front of everyone. That is okay and you need to be cognizant of the fact. Also keep in mind that a team member is more likely to optimize for Project Oriented Development. If your team shares your vision it is less challenging to get them to optimize for a Product Oriented Development.
• Developing a strong relationship: The best way to avoid any surprises is to develop a frank relationship with the team which makes them feel comfortable to discuss anything and share their opinion without fear. It makes your job as much easier. For example, I usually end my 1 on 1’s by asking: “Is there anything else you would want to discuss?” or some light talk. This “anything else” can be related to literally anything: work, outside work such as dinner plans, sports etc. It is a great way to develop that bond. Just try not to make it artificial (discuss what you both are comfortable talking about). Once you develop that strong relationship it minimizes the risk of being blind sided.
• Sharing Feedback: In a direct meeting not only can you share your feedback for the person but you can also ask for feedback from that person for yourself. This is a two way street and if you have a good relationship then this can be a great way of continued improvement.

Optimizing the 1 on 1

If done well 1 on 1 meetings can provide great returns on your time. Otherwise they are, well, another one of those meetings in your calendar that bring little value. Here are few points to improve the quality of your 1 on 1's:

• The Driver: Ideally your team member should drive this meeting. They should come prepared with an agenda for discussion. This does not have to be too specific but it is important that they put in an effort beforehand into what they plan to discuss in this meeting. This is probably the most important thing to prevent this meeting from going down the path where it becomes just a status update meeting. Why? Because you do not need to do a lot of preparation to discuss simple progress updates. This happens when people become lazy. If this starts happening you need discuss this and make amendments.
• The Discussion: Apart from what your team member wants to discuss there are some items that you should also touch up with them in case they do not bring them up. These can be sliced and diced in many ways. I personally group them as short term (discuss in every meeting), medium term (discuss every few meetings).
  - Team priorities and vision: Medium Term. The what and why of the team’s focus areas. It is important to make sure that this is communicated clearly. Team priorities can often change so they can be both short term or medium term discussion. However, if your team vision changes frequently that you need to have a discussion about it frequently then you might want to hit pause and evaluate!
  - Opportunities: Short/Medium Term. What are the new opportunities that can your team member can explore? Aligning opportunities with the interests of your individual team members is a key part of your job and crucial to build a successful and stable team.
  - Career goals and developments: Medium Term. I typically reserve a full meeting every couple of months to discuss with a team member about how their career is shaping up within the team/group/company and how satisfied they are with the work they are doing and how it aligns with their expectations.
  - Mentoring/Guidance: Short Term. Sharing experience to provide insights. How can you help in their success. Share useful resources.
  - Feedback: Short Term. Bidirectional, specific and actionable. It is important to share feedback with as little lag as possible. Frequent discussion is a key here.
  - Projects: Short/Medium Term. Yes it is okay to discuss them as well! What matters is how and what you discuss. I personally avoid discussing timelines rather focusing on any blockers/challenges or what is going well? This helps me gauge a persons interests, strengths and focus areas.
• The Conversation:
  - Start with open ended questions: It is important to distinguish this from an open ended conversation itself, which should have specifics. Both you and the team member should walk out from the meeting with actionable items/feedback. For that it is important to have discussions on specific items. Open ended questions can help in starting the conversation and provide a variety of points that you can distill to key focus areas. Once you have those get specific.
  - Take notes if needed: I have a common shared document with each of my team members where we update our notes based on our discussion. This helps us to be on the same page and it is also easy to see the history of our discussions so far. Over time this document also serves to get and idea of how the team member has progressed.
• The art of listening:
  - Active listening is key: Be fully present in the conversation. It is important that you give your full attention to your team member. First it makes them know you are invested in this as well. Second and more importantly you are not missing on any thing they are saying. It is better to cancel and reschedule a meeting if you know you won’t be able to give your full attention to the discussion. Note: Frequently cancellations send a message the 1 on 1 is not high on your priority order.
  - Avoid conversational narcissism: Do not make the conversation about you. Do not make the mistake of confusing this with empathizing. Its not!
  - Have a conversation and not an argument: Especially important when having an uncomfortable discussion where you might not agree with your team member. Listen to understand and not reply back.
• The timing:
  - Avoid Fridays or Mondays: Why? Long weekends mean you might end up re-scheduling or skipping them.
  - Not all together: Do not schedule all the 1 on 1’s on the same day with everyone on your team. You want each and everyone to be equally productive.
  - Beware of the schedule: Be conscious of your team member’s schedule. Your schedule may look vastly different than that of you team members. They are typically going to spend much more time on their desk uninterrupted than you at a stretch. If you schedule the 1 on 1 such that it interrupts their work period, it reduces their productivity and also reduces the value that they can extract from the 1 on 1 as they might still be stuck in their work mode. A better schedule would be around their natural break time or before they settle into their work. I prefer to have them close to the end of the work day.
• The location: Typically most people do this in a meeting room somewhere in the office. But I have experimented with doing it over a coffee or a short walk at times as well (especially when there is nothing private or formal to be discussed). This can help in keeping these meetings more lively and make them seem less of a formality. Informal settings also help in making your team member more relaxed and open. Great way to develop that rapport!
• The conclusion: You should come out from the meeting with actionable items and follow ups. This is where keeping a consolidated note helps. You can track things that have been discussed and what action items were taken or need to be taken.

That is it! I hope this post provides you with context on why 1 on 1’s are so important and when done properly, provide a great return on the time invested.