Six advices that can make you more than ‘just another engineer’
My father often had elaborate conversations about life with me. He was of the opinion that everyone’s life is a case study and if you look closely enough, there’s a lot you can learn from them. He said that the more you listen to people speak, the more you get to know about intricate complexities involved in minute and mundane experiences. And that is something I’ve held onto, as a result of which, I am able to compile this article. Sometimes you don’t realize the impact people’s words can have on the way you live life. As you read ahead, you’ll realize how these little things can shape your personality.
1. “Build wealth, not money. Wealth will buy you freedom”
Who said it: Keshav Brar, my Mechanical Engineering Professor
Context: In our first class of the semester, Professor Brar came in and said, “I know most of you here want a high-paying job. Take my advice: build wealth, not just money. Wealth buys you freedom. Being rich means having things: the nice house, car, clothes. Being wealthy is about the money you hold onto. You can see when someone is rich, but you can’t see when someone is wealthy.”
I use his advice every day with some tweaks. It’s not just about the different ways to invest money. I’ve encouraged myself to consider networking as one of the forms of wealth creation. In every field, you need to have more than just a job, you need to have people who can have your back when you need. You might spend your money but these connections stay and help you in the long run.
2. “To understand someone, find out the darkness in them”
Who said it: Shanker Pathak, Retired Central Govt. employee and a student of Vedic Sciences
Context: Shanker used to visit us on a frequent basis. My dad loved him because of his fluency in Vedas and Puranas. I remember the discussion we had on this topic. It went on for like an hour. It was more of a monologue but it is worth remembering.
Shaker said, understanding the darkness in someone is about recognising and accepting all facets of their humanity. It’s about seeing them fully, without filters, and appreciating the entirety of their experiences and emotions. This comprehensive understanding can lead to deeper connections and more meaningful relationships.
The crux of the discussion was that the nature of darkness can be in the following forms:
- Inner Struggles: Everyone has inner struggles, fears, insecurities, and past traumas. These darker aspects shape a person’s worldview, behaviours, and reactions.
- Hidden Desires: Sometimes, darker desires or impulses, which might be socially unacceptable or personally embarrassing, are part of someone’s psyche.
- Moral Ambiguities: Understanding a person’s moral dilemmas and the choices they’ve made in difficult situations can reveal much about their character.
Over the years, these thoughts have stayed with me and although it is not always possible to know people deeply enough to find out about them, but when you do, you realize that if you know the darkness within someone, you are at a much better position to understand them. In a usual scenario, their behavior might seem inexplicable and it might even frustrate you, but if you understand them, you are able to handle such situations better and be more efficient.
3. “Learn to cook”
Who said it: My sister
Context: My sister pushed me into cooking. I started with the basic Indian food. During covid I went full throttle and on the way I learnt invaluable lessons.
Lesson 1: Nutritional Control. Cooking at home lets you pick your ingredients and how you cook them, so your meals end up being way healthier and just right for what you need.
Lesson 2: Creativity. Cooking is like a playground for your taste buds. You can try out different ingredients, recipes, and cuisines, and get creative in the kitchen.
Lesson 3: Independence. Knowing how to cook means you’re not stuck relying on others or takeout. It gives you a real sense of freedom.
Lesson 4: Patience. You’ve got to give veggies the right amount of time to cook. If the heat’s too high, you’ll end up with burnt food. If you rush, you’ll get half-cooked stuff. Cooking takes time, just like any success.
4. “The more you blame someone, the more they fight back”
Who said it: Uday, my first manager
Context: We had a feature to deliver ASAP, but the design changed last minute and the deadline stayed the same. We rushed it, and the result was a mess with tons of bugs.
During our scrum retrospective, the blame game started. Everyone was pointing fingers. That’s when Uday stepped in and took control. He said, “No names. I don’t want to hear names. Just list what needs to improve. I’ll figure out who does what.”
Blame just creates negativity. You blame someone, they defend themselves, maybe even blame you back, and nothing gets fixed. It just makes things worse and it exhausts you mentally.
We had 10 developers arguing, but we see each other every day and need to work together. If negativity builds up, productivity goes down. Blaming each other was pointless at that time.
I’ve carried this advice for both my personal and professional life. You can’t change the way people act and react, you can’t change the mistakes that have already been made, what you can do is look for ways to rectify them. So acknowledge that there has been a mistake and get back to the task at hand instead of dwelling over the past.
5. “If you don’t know about it, shut up”
Who said it: Sumit, my first team lead
Context: So, we were messing around with this reactive app, using a library called Akka. I set up this stream with Source, Flows, and Sink, and to actually get it running, I had to create an ActorSystem[Nothing].
Then Sumit asked me, “Why Nothing?”
And I started blabbering some nonsense. After a while of trying to make sense of what I was saying, he understood what was going on and made me stop and said this. At first I felt a little offended but later I realised. if I didn’t know what I was talking about, I should’ve just shut up and read up on it instead of pretending like I knew everything.
This is something most of us do on a daily basis, in interviews, in meetings and so on. People ask questions and instead of acknowledging that we do not know the answer, we make things up and try to pretend. But more often than not, the person in front of you is smarter than you. Even if he isn’t, you need to be smarter and accept that you are clueless or unclear about certain concepts. That is the first step towards learning and getting better.
6. “You’ll not win a war with a sick mind and body”
Who said it: Papa
Context: Papa was my life coach. He loved sports, and I guess it’s because of him that I find myself loving sports. He used to say, sports makes you tough, both physically and mentally. To keep doing what you do everyday, you need to make sure you’re fit. Life keeps attacking you and the moment you let down your guard, it’ll creep up on you. Never let your body go soft.
Even today, I try to do something or the other each day, maybe play a sport, walk to the gym and do them reps or go out for a nice walk.
We get so involved with our everyday lives and jobs that we forget what we are doing it all for. If our body is not healthy, what’s the point of anything? To be the best at what you do, you have to make sure that you do what is best for yourself.
These six pieces of advice, stolen from various people in my life, have shaped my journey as an engineer and as a person. From learning the true meaning of wealth from Professor Brar to understanding the complexities of human nature with Shanker Pathak, each piece of wisdom offers a unique perspective on life. Uday taught me the futility of blame, while Sumit reminded me to speak only when knowledgeable. Papa’s lessons on life resonate with me daily, and I keep reminding myself to take care of myself. Together, these insights have helped me navigate both personal and professional challenges, proving that life’s most valuable lessons often come from the wisdom of those around us. They have shaped me into the person I am today. I still make sure that I keep listening and reading to learn more and upgrade myself.
