NHL TRADE DEADLINE DAY!
As the sun broke the horizon today, I couldn’t stay in bed any longer! I hardly even slept last night! It’s the best day of the year for any hockey fan — it’s Trade Deadline Day! I recommend everyone get their coffees and snacks, make some nachos, get toilet paper (my wife left me with none this morning — you guys feeling me on this one?) and hunker down in front of your TV’s until the final buzzer!
As I’ve said in my previous posts, I am giving a MacRanter guarantee, that this trade deadline will not disappoint! There are so many big names on the trade block this year, it reminds me of that awkward Trumptastic Presidential Address last evening. Half of the room will be happy when trades are announced and be standing and applauding their brass, while the drastic difference on the other side of the room will resemble anyone who wasted two hours of their life watching the Oscars and being La La Land! Too soon? But don’t you guys worry! I live in Toronto and have bled blue for the Toronto Maple Leafs since a child! I’ve been through this! It’s like for the past 35 years, you’ve craved a bite of a juicy filet mignon, but all you’ve eaten are frozen, frosty Highliner fish sticks! As a Leafs fan, I am starting to taste that delicious kobe beef.. okay that’s maybe a bit much.. let’s go with strip-lion on my tongue!
There are so many surprising teams in this year’s NHL that are either in a playoff spot or within striking distance! In 2016, Canada didn’t have a team in the playoffs — that’s not a typo. This year, each Canadian team is either in, or within a few points of a playoff spot! Never mind the Canadian teams for our ‘Murican readers (and I’m a not so secret Penguins fan behind the Leafs)…how about them Minnesota Wild! Where did you guys come from? It’s as if the Wild were shopping at the Mall Of America and got angry that they were lost after they passed the 7th Sizzler restaurant and came out hot! Skip the Fargo wood chipper ‘eh and right to the playoffs, or the Stanley Cup Finals! They’re a nice surprise, and it’s nice to see teams not named the Penguins, Capitals or Blackhawks dominating the playoffs. These surprises remind of when my Ma’ asked me to go down to our creepy 1980’s basement to get some fish sticks out of the deep freezer. After opening the 20lb lid on the freezer and being greeted with that freezer smell up in the face, I found a box of chicken tenders in the bottom of the freezer! Can you say #winning? Ma’! Get the plum sauce!
But you see when I compare these things to my core food memories, or childhood food traumas, everyone can relate — even if you don’t know anything about hockey and you’re like those people I always get stuck beside at the games ‘Ummmm… how many quarters are there in hockey’? #PunchMeInTheFace
Back to #NHL Trade deadline, there are some very big names on the block today — Marc-Andre Fleury, Ryan Miller, Matt Duchene, Gabrielle Landeskog, Thomas Vanek, among many many others! This isn’t even getting into the trades that have already taken place involving Kevin Shattenkirk, Dan Boyle and even David Desharnais! Which BTW and I will MacRanter guarantee again, is the biggest trade thus far! Now that all of you are about to close your internet window and are saying out loud ‘The MacRanter is a nut’, wait for a second. The pick-up by the Edmonton Oilers of Desharnais allows the Oilers to move Leon Draisaitl back to the wing on Connor McDavid’s line. Do you recall what happened last time this line was together? It was magic! It was as if McDavid and Draisaitl had shared schnitzels in the past!
And if anyone reading this is a collector of anything McDavid, be it hockey cards, YoungGuns, signed jerseys, you’ll thank me after the second MacRanter guarantee of this article comes true — the Edmonton Oilers will make the playoffs this year and will win a round! #You’reWelcome — but really thank Desharnais for accepting a trade to Edmonton!
Well everyone, I’m too excited to keep typing. Why am I lying? I want to go watch trade centre on #TSN! But everyone stay tuned to your source of hockey news today — it’s gonna get real, real quick! And I hope whomever you cheer for, that your team makes the right decisions for your franchise — or anything that will help the Leafs chance of making the playoffs #ThankYou #MakingHockeyGreatAgain
