Dean of Students Names Herself Student Council President

In a shocking election night result, Lauren Williams, dean of students, has elected herself student council President. Shane Cockman, the predicted winner of the race, in his concession speech admitted that the results “were most likely fair and probably represent the will of the people.” Williams denies her election “represents administrational encroachment,” but rather contends that “represents more of administrational involvement.” In an effort to make the appointment method of club leaders more equitable, the dean of students will also lead Politics Club, Black Student Union, Tea Club, Action for Men, Engineering Team, Jewish Culture Club, Booster Club, The Toad, and Rights for Whites Club. Cockman will accept his role as Secretary Treasurer, while Charlotte Lemmings will remain Vice President.