Student Council Releases Updated List of Acceptable Opinions

This past Monday, our Dear Leaders in student council released the updated list of opinions that are considered acceptable. We have compiled the list for you here:

• The word asian is offensive
• ‘LOL’ is now outdated
• Lime green is the new black
• The Gips incident never happened
• The North won
• Sweaters are in
• The word “whitey” is a racial slur
• The Armenian Incident can now be referred to as a genocide
• Non-electric toothbrushes are passé
• Hail Zulthor, God of All Things
• During Field Day, the Green team is now the “Colored” team
• Sexism is out, classism is in
• The South will rise again
• The Toad is a disgrace to this institution