tout entière
adapted from Les Fleurs du Mal by Charles Baudelaire
the demon in my deepest vault
crept out of his crypt trailing whispers
his escape the trap, he knows I’m too tired to chase
but I must try to catch him still
because he tied the carrot to the stick
and called it consent when I took a bite
he offered me his roses and sucked his teeth
when I grazed a thorn and bled
instead of comfort he brought
my weakness to his lips and said,
“I know the sweetest place
to bury your dread…”
because he laced my submission
and When I begged to be untied
he called me noncompliant,
“I will teach you how to be denied”
he knew that thorn’s touch reached
the unnamed place in me
where sensation reins
and even pain is pleasure as it stains
he deals the cards
and he runs all the tables
he rides me hard on the track
and he grooms me in the stables.
Monica Deck is a writer and recurve archer living with chronic illness in the US midwest. She spends most of her time hanging out with her partner, her kiddo, and her cats.
