How to manage the transition as a young woman leaving school
High school is no doubt one of the crucial stages of our life. Life after high school can sometimes feel like a massive bridge with many winding pathways filled with complexity, and sometimes you may not know which path to follow. On one end, you may get into the program of your choice only to realise it is not for you, or you finally get to be part of the cool kids, only to realise you do not precisely fit in or probably liked some boys who did not like you back. Now you find yourself at crossroads as to what choices to make.
I know this because I have been there and felt that shock and experienced the sheer terror of feeling out of control and not knowing which choices to make. This shock is even greater if you had no prior information on the responsibility that awaits you the day you graduate. I know you are probably thinking everything moved on so fast and still trying to process a journey you felt was seemingly long and could not wait for it to end but somehow, when it came to an end, nothing was ever the same.
You thought the end of high school meant freedom from mandatory school rules especially waking up at 4 am to get dressed for lectures, more job opportunities, freedom from regular roll calls and yet when this journey came to an end, your expectations did not precisely meet the reality on the ground.
Some of your unrealised goals and expectations turned into a boogeyman waking you up from sleep with blinding tears every night. I know some of you may still punish yourselves sometimes because of the choices you made and wished so much that you had someone to let you in on the surprises, opportunities and how to meander your way through some of these challenges. If you are still contemplating how to go about this phase of your life, then read through till the end!
As you can see, change is inevitable, and how we deal with it can ruin us, strengthen or build us. Here are some quick steps to manage the transition as a high school leaver:
First of all, you need to acknowledge this phase or period for what it is:
Many times in life, things happen to us outside of our control, and even if it is within our control, we just do not know how to go about it. When I was in middle school, I knew I could do so much to improve my grades, but I was not confident enough to believe that I could. Instead of studying, I procrastinated and embraced failure as part of my reality. However, now, my life is unrecognisable from what it was back then. I have completed college, pursued an MPhil degree, and worked for some fantastic organisations.
I have learned through my previous procrastination and pain that the first step to managing transition is acknowledging and accepting where you are right now. Too often, when we fail to achieve a goal or underestimate a situation and then it happens, we often beat ourselves up through negative self-talk, which hinders our ability to move on. Instead, we should be acknowledging whatever has happened to us and trying to seek help the appropriate way.
I am not saying it is easy. In fact, acknowledging that you are human and accepting where you are right now is a really terrifying thing to do — because you have to look at your pain; you have to admit what you do not like. And that is definitely going to hurt. However, when you begin to face your truth and the fact that you are human who will inevitably make some mistakes and accept where you are in life, you are offering yourself the cool and power to do something about it.
Secondly, acknowledge the struggles and challenges: We all have struggles and challenges. No matter who you are and where you come from, you may have to deal with some struggles and challenges at some point in your life. Accepting that you have challenges is the first step to dealing with issues you face. Once you acknowledge your struggles and challenges, you need to take time out of your everyday life and give yourself some reflection time. After reflecting and finally settling on your struggles, you put it on paper. It helps to divide where you are into distinct areas or categories: strengths, challenges, lessons and how to manage them. Also, it is essential to create a category for the current opportunities you can identify and how to leverage them. For instance, some of you may face a situation where your family expects you to earn money or drop out of school, which can be managed by discussing your future plans, what you can really do now and what help you need.
Finally, acknowledge what you have for the journey: what you have learnt, who you are, the opportunities present in the skills you have built so far, the efforts and good intentions of those in your circle. When you acknowledge all of this, it helps you align your priorities.
First, you need to make a list of several specific things you have learnt so far going through life, who you think you are as a person, the opportunities you currently have and the changes you might adopt in your practice this year, putting each change into one of four categories: passion projects, skills built, opportunities, and school goals or any goals you may have. Passion projects are those things that bring you excitement. For instance, you may want to be a writer who earns money from her writing, so you can check out opportunities available to put this skill you have to test and how you can earn money out of it.
It is worth noting that you should always take action and make use of every opportunity that comes your way at this stage of your life. This is not the time to be making excuses or procrastinating. Seize the moment and make the most out of this period.
On the whole, transitioning from secondary school into adulthood is both challenging and exciting! However, you need to manage the change well or else you will lose a step and getting back on track may not always be easy. However, if you have lost a step already, you need to accept that it has happened and offer yourself the cool and power to do something about it. Remember, if you are determined and have set goals that are challenging but grounded in your reality, you will succeed.
