Metanoia
The start of something new. Life after divorce. Part 1.
Life has many twist’s and turns - that is the one thing I have learnt in the last 9 months of my life. One really cannot plan or anticipate how it will turn out. If you do, you will be sorely disappointed at some stage of your life. Most of us know this and will probably give this advice to our friends going through a tough time at some stage of our lives.
Yet, still we do it.
We think we can beat the system and somehow control our tiny little lives on this vast planet. We think, “I will be the exception to the rule”, “bad things won’t happen to me, if…”
The reality is that bad things happen to ALL people. Sometimes (a lot of times) it is because of our own actions and other times it is completely out of our control.
The moment that this concept truly reveals itself to you and you realise that the way you react to these bad things in your life defines who you are and will become — that is the moment when you truly step foot into adulthood.
So, as testament to what I’ve experienced in my life the last few months, I am starting this blog in hope that it might encourage other women like me.
The Low Down.
My life has pretty much completely taken a 360° turn from where it was last year this time.
In short, I had been married to my ex for three years (going on four) and we had been dating for six and a half years prior to that.
Married life had it’s up’s and down’s, as it does. I was contempt with having the hard times, because I trusted that the problems would be resolved over time as we grew old together. Marriage after all, is a commitment and not just something to bail out on. When you say “I Do”, essentially what you are saying is, “I will put up with all your bullshit and still love you”.
When you say “I Do”, essentially what you are saying is, “I will put up with all of your bullshit and still love you”.
Or so I thought.
Last year around the end of June I discovered that my husband was having an affair with his business partner who at that time was probably one of my only close friends. Her marriage had deteriorated just months before and we had grown very close as I tried to support and love her through what was the hardest time of her life. Little did I know what was really going on behind the scenes…
I started to realise something was very wrong. Weeks of turmoil went by trying to figure out what was going on and I finally realised he was seeing another woman. My sixth sense told me it was her, but my brain refused to accept it as truth.
Eventually after reaching a point of total meltdown, I hired a private detective. Within a week it was all over. I left the same night after everything was revealed. The absolute hardest most heart breaking decision I have ever been forced to make.
My life had fallen to pieces. Everything I knew as a woman, a friend, a wife, a Christian… everything was broken. Nothing made sense anymore.
I blamed myself completely. As did his letters to me. I did everything wrong and he was right for looking for love elsewhere. I had failed at being a successful human being, or so I felt.
I won’t go into the aftermath just now as I think it’s important to explore a bit more deeply some of the things touched on above before moving on with what happens next.
The title of this post should indicate however that life has taken quite a turn for the better, so please do follow me if you felt you could relate to this article in any way.
Love
Metanoia
