I Didn’t Ask for This…

None of us do.

Dear Society,

You go out of your way to make the lives of Trans people infinitely more difficult.

You deny us employment, which pushes us to exist by less than ideal, and sometimes less than legal means. In that same vein you deem us all sex workers even though you created that unwanted choice as our only means of survival.

This limits our access to healthcare which further makes our transitions financially burdensome. And if we do find legitimate employment, the transition healthcare we are offered is a drop in the bucket towards achieving our goals. Some companies have healthcare that supports surgeries, most do not. That fact alone adds additional burdens when a relatively inexpensive gender confirmation surgery (when compared to other covered surgeries like hip or knee replacement) must be paid for entirely in cash.

Then there’s the disparaging matter of housing. In more than half of the country it is legal to deny a person housing based on the fact that they’re Transgender.

And what about restrooms? You attempt to police restrooms as though you have fully functioning X-ray specs and a badge which wholly grants you the ability to deny those you don’t believe “pass” access to the restroom that they feel they’ll be safest in. You profess this privilege in the name of protecting women and children, but there isn’t a statistic that would prove your paranoia is justified. Moreover, there are plenty of statistics to prove that Transgender people get assaulted when they are made to use a restroom that’s inconsistent with their gender identity. The only thing you prove by policing restrooms is that you feel bigotry is justified when you choose to believe your own lies.

You go out of your way to use an incongruent pronoun because identifying us by our assigned gender somehow makes you a better person. No, it’s just makes you an asshole, and a bully. Which is oddly ironic because my schoolyard bullies would have called me a “Girl” or “Nancy,” but today those same bullies would insist I’m male. Just more proof that misery is all you seek to secrete into this world.

Moreover, you choose to deny us our identity when we die; opting to publish our deadnames and assigned gender. These are not the actions of one actively behaving Christ-like. Imagine if on your deathbed, someone identified you as being someone you never felt you were. It’s tantamount to digging up a grave and pissing on the corpse. You wouldn’t want that for yourself, yet you continue to do it to us.

While we’re talking about Christ, let’s discuss how you tolerate us in faith. Many LGBTQ people were raised in the Christian faith, and many still hold those Christian views and beliefs. But is it really “Christ-like” to tell these people that you accept them whilst denying them pastoral station within the church? You seem fine to collect a tithe, but to treat LGBTQ people as equals seems to fall out of your reach. Why is that?

When we come “out” we place everything in jeopardy. This is not a causal undertaking, this is NOT like simply changing our clothes. No! We risk losing everything! Family, Friends, Employment, our entire career path, our homes, and yes, even our very lives are at risk when we reveal to the world we are Transgender.

So let me make this clear… No One would “choose” to be Transgender.

Everything I have written here is evidence that society wants nothing more than to push us into the most indignant form or existence, or to kill ourselves so they can feel content in their belief that we are certifiably “mentally ill” and irrevocably destined for self-destruction. But given the barriers you create to our existence, who wouldn’t want to kill themselves. You push us to end our lives and take no ownership for having done so.

Under no circumstances do I want to be Transgender. Thank you (society) for illustrating exactly why I wouldn’t want this.

Fortunately, I am Transgender, and I love being Transgender! Despite all the obstacles I’ve faced, I can look in the mirror every day and love the person I became. I sloughed off all the shame you saddled me with to embrace a truth that I knew about myself for more than three decades.

I love being Transgender because transition as allowed me meet so many of these beautiful souls you’ve set out to destroy. Admitting my truth has been the most freeing thing I have ever done, and I will never regret it.

For 39 years I allowed your identity shame game to rule me. As you expected and desired; it made me wish I were dead. The second I stopped caring about your opinion, I was finally able to come alive. Perhaps it’s ironic that so many people profess to be “born again” and yet those same people often use the influence for their rebirth to denigrate my own rebirth because it’s different than their own.

Let me just say… Under no circumstances will I ever shame anyone for finding meaning in their life, but would find it highly spurious if that meaning is derived from making the lives of others intentionally challenging. There is no divinity in seeking to harm another who is doing no harm.

If we were intended to gravitate towards sameness, then our creator would have made us genetically identical. But our DNA is diverse for a reason.

Diversity is Divine; Embrace it.

Find the beauty in yourself and you’ll cease to diminish the beauty of others.

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