Aeryn Saint
Jul 4 · 10 min read

<Zucc and his crew at Facebook silenced this account. Guess what?

Meesa BACK!! You just KNOW I gotta be pushed out of shape about it…I just quoted Jar Jar Binks!

You’re just another rich asshole protecting Fascists, Zucc. You know it. I know it…it’s the EXACT model that happens every time rich asshats like you try to hold onto your wealth and power during times of great upheaval. Embrace fascists and silence everyone else who makes waves. Well…you’ve FAILED, Your Highness. I AM a Jedi…and I’m posting the EXACT same thing. Bite me.>

<This is long and has my *personal* opinions and observations. There will *absolutely* be swearing. There will be material objectionable to religious and conservative types, Trump supporters, TERFs, NAZIs and even some omniscient SJWs.

…read at your own risk>

It all started as a WTF Moment™️, to be honest. I mean…NAZIs?
ACTUAL NAZIs…in 2019?!?

After the fall of “Marriage Equality” as the signature issue for the American Taliban & Religious Nutjobs to focus upon…they needed a new GIG.
They needed someone or something that threatens their world view in any way, yet poses a *perceived* threat to children.

They needed to pivot.
They needed that fat cash of the religious to keep flowing.

“Transgendered” people, as they call us.

(Yes…I know it doesn’t have an “ed” after it. Here SJW…smoke this bong and settle in. Your bullshit will not be tolerated during MY narrative. Got it? Smoke up and chill.)

Where was I?
Oh yeah…

We Trans folk, being a relatively small segment of the population, and therefore easily demonised without huge numbers of people impacted, make the perfect target during the Trump era.

Since he and his minions all hate US, the very smallest chunk of the Rainbow Clan…and since most white, gay men (the power and privilege block of the LGBTQ community) find us easily dismissed if not downright distasteful…
We became the easy target.

Scroll forward in time…

The Proud Boys and other hateful dregs of society, decide to target Transgender people specifically to peel us off from our Rainbow Clan.
Aided by TERFs, the religious right and some radical Trumpsters, amongst others, they started an ACTIVE campaign to intimidate, harass and even physically assault us.
Portland was their first training ground in years past with some ventures north…

This time, they *announced* they were coming…formally.
People in both Portland and Seattle were freaking out.

Enter…me.
Aeryn Saint.

Former LGBTQ radio broadcaster and fundraising activist for decades…who lost ALL privilege and my voice in the community with two things:

Coming out as Trans…
…and being over 50.

The first…was not surprising to me knowing first hand how gay white men feel about Transfolk.
Yes.
They’ve said as much, in great detail, during dozens of drunken rants I’d heard over the years.
There’s an advantage to hiding in plain sight with a hyper-masc yet somewhat approachable facade…
I heard it ALL.

In Vino…Veritas.

I listened as many of you ran your mouths and I, ever so gradually, died a little inside.

For those who said “Fuck Trans People. We have OUR rights. Who cares about a couple of Tranny freaks around the edges.”
<direct quote from president of major LGBTQ charity organisation after five drinks>

To those who said or even think that…
Fuck you.
You’re garbage.
I despise you.

Second…being over 50, I’m now invisible.

Since I’m no longer in almost anyone’s dating pool…and young SJW types know positively *everything* and don’t want some old bitch’s opinions (based on the rudeness and abruptness of their words and actions each and every time I tried to put even a toe in the water in Trans and Queer organisations since coming out).

So…
“Fuck em”, I thought at the time.
If Gender Justice League or The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence or other groups don’t want me…

Bye Felicia.
Not my circus.
Not my monkeys.

Then…I was asked to come and defend the very organisation that on three separate occasions made me feel old, useless and absolutely unheard as I was drown out by SJW asshats…half my age.
(I mean WHO plans a TDOR event at a fucking *church*?!?
Really motherfuckers??
Christians HATE us.
Ya think a few of us in the Trans community might have been victimised by those Christian assholes and might not feel comfortable morning the loss of our sisters…*some* at the hands of “christians”…in a Christian church?!?)

But I digress…

Even though disillusioned with GJL, I was asked to come and defend my Trans Fam against this group of Proud Boy assholes…and I couldn’t decline and still live by The Code.
So…I started talking with Kayla about it.

So many thoughts…
“Can I even wear my armour after years of transitioning?”
“I have hips and boob now. How do I pad this?”
(Yes…boob, singular. I had the other removed for cancer in the 1990s and can therefore only grow ONE. I’m a true Amazon now…and I *can* shoot a bow.)
“Do I even want to do this?”

Kayla immediately agreed that I should do it…and that she wouldn’t allow me to stand alone.
She wanted to don my 14th century suit and walk along with me…with a flag and quarter staff.
I was overwhelmed.
What an amazing partner!
<swoon>

We had to be there and ready to go by 5PM on Friday.
Worst possible day of the week for ANYTHING in Seattle…hands down.
Rush hour on Friday.
Fuck.

So…we left our Sunshine Coast idyllic space for a 12+ hour motorcycle ride the day before…in the rain…on the Coast…to come and defend our family.

It was hard, but three ferries, two stops to feel my hands, and one stop for poutine & cocktails at the Fountainhead later…and we made it back to the land of hatred and harassment — The United States of Trump.

After that rather strenuous day, I awoke the next day in a haze of pain and absolute certainty of my age — 103!

I felt like my left leg would simply fall off at any moment, had no idea how to get two full suits of armour and two adults to Cap Hill…on Guenevere…and…no idea if I could even get it all back on after all these years.
Secret : I never thought I’d ever wear it again. It belonged to Aedan and who wants a Transwoman Knight? I always thought, in the back of my mind, that it would just slowly become a curiosity piece on a stand representing my past…collecting dust.

Kayla was the key.
She took on the role of Squire & Shield Maiden.
Without a squire, I couldn’t get into the suit, especially now. She…was amazing! She helped me through the equipment check, helped pack one bag of armour, wore large sections of her armour, and packed every single extra thing I (literally) tossed her way.

We only once even got slightly tense with each other despite sitting in traffic for over 90 minutes.
We arrived at an amazing tableau of Trans Pride splendour

Despite my prickliness about my past interactions while attempting to assist GJL over the years, as a Transwoman, I’ve found Elayne Wylie, of Gender Justice League, to be above and beyond one of the best human beings I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with. She was, simply speaking, responsible for my name, my documents and my sanity in a time when I was falling apart.

Further still, the organisation and professionalism of this Festival was one of the best I’ve ever attended since my first festival concerts…in 1984.
(Yes, gentle reader. I am indeed over 50.)

We eased Guen into her motorcycle spot on the corner of Cal Anderson…next to a cluster of SIX COPS.

We proceeded the process of putting on two suits of armour designed for a 6’2” tall hyper-masc boy body, on two inexperienced female bodies, while in the street and on a three wheeled motorcycle…surrounded by cops, traffic and hundreds of onlookers.

No pressure.

Kayla was magnificent!
She worked on hers, worked on mine, asked questions, told jokes yet was intensely focused.
We had to use some zip ties and duct tape and a few leather straps in odd places…

All the while…watched by COPS.

We ignored them except when the shortest white male cop of the group started running his mouth about Trans rights and “why are we even doing this?”.
I stepped up onto the curb and towered in half of my armour.
I scowled at him.
My chest…*flexed* and grew in size as I channelled my rage and the spirit of Aedan started to knock on the door a bit.
The other cops moved his ass down the block.
The African American male cop…nodded and smiled weakly as if mildly embarrassed.
I nodded back, smiled and walked over to get my pauldrons.

I really dislike cops…but I felt a bit sympathetic.
I mean…this man could feel that pain of being Trans and having the cops despise you because you’re different…right in front of him.

We got the last bits on, had a cigarette (which we tried while wearing gauntlets, just for a laugh), and marched off to stand in front of the Proud Boys.

The Saint…has come back…to Seattle!!

(I owe The Rock a quarter.)

Yeah.
To answer your question…
I HAD played “worst case scenario” in my head.
Thank you SO much asshats on social media for your bullshit about defending the Trans March as individuals (because we can’t trust the cops not to BEAT US and favour defending the Fascists).
You added to my anxiety in this moment .
Bravo.
<cough>
<cough>
<dickheads>
<cough>
<cough>

Every step hurt.
I have hips now.
This armour was made for a version of me with almost zero hips!!
I could feel the armour bites beginning halfway through the park…but Kayla and her flag…and the tremendous amounts of love we received, made up for it.
I also got to stop frequently for photos which made my hips happy.

We got there just in time to walk right up front…left front line.

<Hyper-vigilant Mode /on>
We walked slowly with the Parade.

I was trying to keep that kind, former “community titleholder smile™️” plastered across my face for both media and the comfort of those around me, while keeping track of Kayla *and* scanning…
Scanning…
Scanning…

Where are those assholes?

My medic *and* martial training fused into a surreal and slower version of reality.
I’ve experienced this before.
I was being shot at…
This felt like that.
Time slowed WAY down.

The first bit of this parade was boxed in on two sides…and if I were to attack, that would be where I’d do it.
Broadway.
Wide enough and enough escape routes.
That walk took forever.

We were mindful to be off to the side and out of the middle…and *never* walked faster than the lead banner contingents.

Trans women of colour started this movement at Stonewall…

I wanted my flashy armour and Irish American face out of their spotlight…
I was there to serve my Trans Fam.
My ego took a fucking seat and STFU.

Time dilation stopped when the parade did.
Poignant speech by Elayne Wylie in the middle of Pine Street made the event for me.
This…wasn’t just a parade/party as Seattle Pride has slowly become…it’s still a protest for our rights, our freedoms and our very survival.

Think I’m being hyperbolic and reactionary?
Think again.
Read about the murders of us.
Read about the incarcerations of us.
Read about the erasure of *our* rights.
Read.
Remember us.

We escorted the lead edge of the Parade into the park, found a seat, rested a bit (the armour is between 65 & 80 pounds…plus water weight), and then walked about the festival.

Kayla looked *stunning*.
I was rendered speechless several times by her friendly yet fiercely engaged demeanour…and the power of my old armour just enhanced her amazing countenance as she escorted me about…or as I…kept up with *her*.

Lonness was there and we thanked her for helping organise we, the armour clad…and her banner was amazing!

We peeled off the armour after several hours and…enjoyed the *fabulous* drag performers from across the street…and marvelled at the immense turnout…all in support of Trans Rights.
The diversity of different communities represented from the Leather community to the Sisters to the furries, to the Satanic Temple…was overwhelming.

No Proud Boys dared face that many determined people.

<full stop>

Thank you…everyone.
My worst case scenario never happened.
I’m so relieved.
I did have huge armour bites.
I did have major bruises.
I was absolutely exhausted.
I’d do it again, with Kayla by my side.

This is WAY long.

I had a lot to say.

I’m sorry.
<pause>
(practicing being Canadian…someday)

Next: Seattle Pride 2019 & The Biker Chicks!

………

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The Transition Transmission

The place to embrace the Triumphs and Tribulations of those who Transitioned and risked everything to live authentically.

Aeryn Saint

Written by

♡ Amazonian Trans Biker Chick, LGBTQ Radio Broadcaster, Advocate, Columnist, Activist, Rabble Rouser & Martial Arts Practitioner. ♡

The Transition Transmission

The place to embrace the Triumphs and Tribulations of those who Transitioned and risked everything to live authentically.

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