I was born in a radical religious environment that brainwashed me into believing anyone that was lgbtq+ is an abomination worthy of death. I learned at a young age to hide my true self in order to survive. I hated myself and wanted to die at a young age and struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts, and self harm all the way to adulthood.
I literally feared my father would kill me if he found out about my identity and sexuality. This taught me to always wear a facade that lasted until i was 25. I still don’t know how to truly be myself yet; I’m still evolving and blooming into the person i have always wanted to be.
After 3 years of marriage to a cis woman, and years of denial I finally knew i had to be true to myself. I came out to my ex wife; she left me and i don’t blame her. I was bad as a husband because it was an act. It wasn’t me. Life is still a struggle, but at least i can embrace the joy of being me.
Now i look in the mirror and don’t hate what i see, and to me that is worth it all. ❤
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