The First Mann on Mars: Chapter Seven: Customs

The First Mann on Mars

©Copyright 2024 by Mark Watson

THE STORY SO FAR…

Moronic Billionaut Derek Mann, along with his snarky, silver AI sidekick Barry Wilkinson, have been rescued from an ugly, dangerous spaceship and have now landed on Mars. Back on Earth, things have gone predictably wrong — most of Northern Europe has been obliterated after Derek’s genius friend Noel decided to crank the Large Hadron Collider up to eleven. The rest of the planet is now enjoying the charming chaos of a post-apocalyptic era. Meanwhile, Derek and Barry have discovered that Mars is far from a barren dustbowl…

Chapter Seven: Customs

The queue shuffled forward, everyone else in line was being waved through by the customs officer with all the enthusiasm of someone clocking out in fifteen minutes.

Then it was Derek Mann and Barry Wilkinson’s turn.

The customs officer, a stern woman with a complexion that could’ve been carved from Martian basalt, glanced at them with suspicion. She asked in a Glaswegian accent so thick it could butter toast, “Wher ah youse two frae?”

“Earth,” Derek and Barry said in unison, like a pair of students who’d accidentally learned the right answer for…