This single mum’s kick-ass new year

Goodbye super-momming

2019 is the year I let go of my naivetes. Until the ripe old age of 35 years, I used to believe in fairy tales like “my one true love”, the Boogieman and the milk of human kindness. This year though, is going to be big.

There’s this feeling of having grown into the skin of single motheryness, that leathery yellow-brown-grey chameleon skin that conveniently merges into any environment — including hot water.

Essentially, that about sums up my kick-ass 2019: chameleon — why waste time on modesty? — sexy chameleon in hot water.

So, my new year resolutions:

1. Be kind to the chameleon.
2. Because it is impossible to gain weight if you’re kind to yourself, says a weight loss book. Yes, the chameleon reads those kinds of books as well, not just Murakami. Refer resolution number one.
3. Read Murakami.(And stop re-reading Agatha Christies and Frederick Forsythes and Wodehouses. At the very least, ration comfort reading and explore new avenues). And refer res no. 1
4. Create space for myself. My soul-crushing, mind-shattering goals (aka hot water) are to be achieved — but I vow to cling tenaciously to my sanity and joy. And to refer res N1 whenever in doubt.
5. Disuse atrophy is the last thing I want happening to my writing muscle. There is no way I can let you go the way my abdomenal muscles went. Blogging spurts on medium.com, more specifically, writing short pieces following prompts in Wonderbook by Jeff VanderMeer: is the general plan. That and weight training. No matter how hot the water gets.
6. What about the kids? Frankly, the kids rarely make it into my resolutions, mostly because they’re chameleon appendages. What’s my right leg’s new year resolution? To grow stronger and healthier and not get into any major trouble, of course. Some days though, the kids feel more like a constantly niggling toothache that the dentist’s taking time getting round to, just a matter of 18 years or so. When the toothache and the hot water get unbearable, just refer RN1.
7. World domination. But until we single mums get there, refer RN1.

Here’s to a fantastic 2019!