I Grew Up Looking Like a Boy
And how I longed to find my femininity
I wanted my ears pierced from a young age. Not because I favoured the look of pierced ears per se, but because I wanted to be more physically recognisable as female.
From the age of three or four I had my naturally curly hair cut short by well meaning parents. And by short, I mean a range between shaved back and sides, and a mullet (come on, it was the 80’s), with never more than a few inches length on the top.
I didn’t look like a stereotypical female. Not that there is anything wrong with looking androgynous, masculine or with being male — and I’m not saying that little girls should wear their hair long. I’m merely attempting to describe my own personal sense of feminine inadequacy growing up, and how that still haunts me to this day.
The epitome of femininity to me, was so indelibly linked to hair.
Crystal Gale, the country singer with the phenomenal hair that reached down to the floor was just so beautiful to me. I dreamt of having long hair like that, and would ‘dress up’ trying to look like her by putting a long scarf over my hair so the ends would trail behind me.
Ironically, I was a bit of a tomboy in as much as I didn’t like to wear dresses or play with dolls. But I also identified as female…
