The Fine Art of Delaying Happiness

I’m one of those people who loves to wait for the right time, with everything. I’d be excited for a new movie, a new book, a series, an album to be released, and when it finally is, when I finally have it in my hand, I’ll wait until the time is right. I get high on the expectancy, on the excitement of planning, until the moment finally comes, and weighed down by uncertainty, I’d tell myself it’s not the right time or that it’s not good enough.

Or, I’d wait to feel it. To be in this magical mood where the stars have aligned, when I can feel the feeling that I want to feel or have the reaction that I want to have. Or when I think I’ve become the person to finally want or enjoy that something. In a way, it’s my form of control, I wait until that thing I’m pretty sure will make me happy, falls into a time or season when I feel like I have everything that I need to be happy, and that my friend is the definition of delaying happiness.

You see, this feeling has followed me all my life, and particularly all through last year, silently perched on my shoulder, steering me away from everything I actually wanted to do. If things don’t align exactly how I want them to, then I’ll walk away from them, or ignore them or convince myself that it wouldn’t work and I’m better off waiting. I do this with love and relationships too. I wait until a person walks out of my life because I feel like it’s not the right time to want them in my life, to realize that I want them in my life. What follows after is usually a sinking feeling, that leads to a sad poem, that leads to me repeating the same cycle.

The concept of delaying happiness didn’t occur to me until my friend came to the house one day. We got to talking and she was like, “hey have you seen that movie?” I was like, “nah, I’m not ready yet,” and she goes, “you sha, you know how to delay happiness.” We laughed about it but when she left, I thought about it and I was like:

Ironically, delaying happiness can be a way of protecting yourself; from hurt, disaster, or failure, especially if you’ve fallen many times, hold yourself to impossible standards, or are quite simply a coward. Don’t cringe, we’ve all been one at some point in our lives.

The thing with pushing things back, and waiting for the right time to do them, means that you miss the right time to do them. Because the truth is there is no “right time,” there is simply time, and unfortunately, we haven’t learnt to use it well.

In actuality, the right time to do anything is when an opportunity presents itself to you. That right there is the stars aligning, that is God saying, hey, heyyyy, go on, take it; and simply all you have to do is take what’s been handed to you and be thankful for it. And while I don’t believe that opportunity comes just once, I do believe that there are opportunities that you will look back on and wish that you had taken. It’d be the one that got away, and unless you learn the almost impossible art of contentment, you are always going to wonder what could have been.

I thought about not writing this because more and more, I’m discovering that I’m a sappy individual who loves to wallow in my feelings (apparently all my faves knew this but me) but then I thought, why not?

I can’t be the only one. There are millions of people like me, all of us chasing happiness, while simultaneously delaying it.

So, how about this year, we do things differently? I know, new year’s resolutions are cliché. But really the only reason why you should be exactly as you were last year, is if what you were doing last year is working for you. Still, machines run smoothly because they get fine-tuned now and then, and humans were created to thrive and evolve.

So, how about instead of waiting for the right time, we make the time right.

Instead of waiting to be ready, we simply take the shot. Just aim and fire, and if you miss your shot, take it again and again until you get it. Sure, you will not be happy losing all those shots, but rather than simply waiting and delaying the happiness you could get trying, every shot you take, and every mistake you make, will pull you that much closer to your win.

Heads Up: I will be starting a novel series, with roughly two chapters every month. This is my way of diving back into fiction and seeing something through (besides my books and movies of course).

Also, now y’all get to see what a genius I am. So please, subscribe!

Okay Bye!

PS: You may find typos in this post because I wrote it a hurry so I wouldn’t talk myself out of writing it.

Thank you for reading ♥️

Please clap (you can as much as 50 times), share, and leave your thoughts.

To read more of my essays follow me, or subscribe to get them delivered straight to your mail.

See you in my next story!

When I’m not writing short stories and essays, I’m helping memoir authors ghostwrite, structure, and edit unforgettable stories. If you’ve got a story to tell and think you could use my help, book a free consultation right here

You can also follow me on Linkedin where I share my thoughts and storytelling tips