The Next Chapter — Final Newsletter
Almost two years ago, I started this publication.
I had come out of a divorce 5 years prior, and since then, had done a lot of work in rebuilding my self-esteem, image, worth, and finances. I was proud of my progress, and thought perhaps, there are others out there who are in or lived through a similar stage, and together, we can document our journeys forward.
It didn’t matter to me what kind of turning point… getting clean and sober? Starting/ending a relationship? Choosing to come out? Moving to a different country? It didn’t matter… I just wanted to know what led to that pivotal moment, and how it turned out for the author.
Now, almost two years later, I’ve had the honor of reading many different stories of people from all walks of life. They’ve made me think, smile, inspired me, and reminded me how we are more alike than we are different. We are all looking for similar things. Learning to be happy in our own choosing. Having clarity and courage to pursue what we want. Finding support and certainty in our choices.
Steve Jobs famously said you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect the dots looking back. Reading the stories showed me the angst, the thought process, and the bravery the authors took to make what they believe was the right choice for them at that time, each step leading to where they are today. I can only hope along with them that the choice was one that maximized their life and minimized regrets.
For a while now, I have been feeling like I was on the cusp of my own turning point. What that was, when and how it was going to materialize, I wasn’t sure. I just trusted that when it happened, I would know.
I feel like that time has come.
Three months ago, a failed start of a relationship got me thinking again about the next phase of my life. It spurred me to start talking to a life coach. This was something I explored before, but I didn’t see the value in spending the money then. It finally felt right.
A few weeks ago, I ended a friendship with someone who had been pushing boundaries for quite a while. It was tough. We had incredible chemistry and otherwise got along swimmingly, but the boundary crossing escalated towards the end, and it wasn’t something I can tolerate any longer.
For better or for worse, the ending of that last one felt like it led to the closing of a long chapter of my life.
In the past decade, I had been learning the lessons that life was trying to teach me. All the things I got wrong before due to my bad communication, toxic behaviors, attachment issues, not knowing my worth and not loving myself enough, came full circle and culminated in a rollercoaster of emotions these past few weeks.
I felt grief over the losses of the relationships, empowered by me standing up for myself, renewed in my sense of integrity, lingering hurt and compassion in why people act the way they do, and hope and belief in a brighter future of honest interactions.
This was the turning point I felt coming for a while. And it only revealed itself to me after I had the strength to shed the last thing that was wrong for me. I finally, finally feel like I mastered this level.
With those emotions also came the realization that the publication has served me well, but it is time to focus more on other topics.
Recently, I read something Mark Manson wrote about stopping to write his pieces in self-help. His reasoning is that the whole point of self-help is there needs to be an expiration; to one day not focus on it anymore not because you are perfect now, but because you have done a lot of work to get yourself to a place of healthy mind and esteem. Otherwise self-help is another form of escape. I have long thought the same.
Continuous improvement will always be present, but I am by far a different person than I was before the divorce. I am aware of my shortcomings, but I also know how to manage them now. I feel like I’ve finally crossed into the other side.
In the next chapter of my life, I am going to keep on learning, reading, doing, and taking myself out of my comfort zone more. I am ready to let go of this identity of survivor and fighter of trauma and toxicity, and forge a new one. I want to be bolder, to thrive, to meet my highest potential.
I hope. I believe. I can. I will. I must.
And along the way, I will keep on doing what I am already doing… helping and paving the road for others slightly behind so they don’t have to struggle as much as I did. So they may also positively impact those around them, including me.
A big thank you to everyone who has followed, read, commented, clapped, highlighted, or shared. Most importantly, I want to thank those who chose this publication to be home for one or some of their writings. I thank you for your honesty, your courage, and your insight. You are this publication’s heart and soul, and for that I am so grateful. I truly hope it gave back to you at least a sliver of what you gave me.
Keep on walking to the beat of your own drum.
“Strong back, soft front, wild heart.” — Brene Brown
May we all be grateful to the turning points in our lives that have led us to where we are today, and embrace the ones to come that will lead us to where we want to go.
Happy writing and be sunny :)
