How I Encouraged My Sons’ Love for Each Other in Three Easy Steps

Rebecca Kotnik
The Twig
Published in
3 min readFeb 6, 2020

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My older son was always interested in his baby brother. He wanted to be by him and play with him. He never was that toddler or preschooler to fawn over his little brother, though, and that, of course, is fine, not everyone is a baby person. However, I realized by the time the little one was 18 months, I wasn’t doing anything to encourage a bond between them.

Photo by Travis Grossen on Unsplash

I came into motherhood during the age we are supposed to trust out baby, toddler, preschooler. Telling my older son how to feel about babies seemed wrong. Then it dawned on me there is a big difference between forcing and modeling.

Here is how I fostered their already existing love for each other in three steps:

Step One: I started small, pointing out cute babies when we were in a restaurant. Saying things like, “Oh, look at that cute baby, squishy squish face.” Mixing humor with the observations delighted my son and piqued his interest.

Step Two: Then, I concentrated on making my older son feel secure and loved. When I felt gratitude for having a four-year-old, I would tell him. For example, when we went for a walk together, I would say to him how glad I was to have a big four-year-old who can go for walks on, or who can wash his own hands, or climb into his car seat, etc. It also helped me realize how…

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Rebecca Kotnik
The Twig

Part-time Controller and Total Compensation Administrator and a full-time mom. In her free time, she likes to research, write and puzzle.