I’ve Worked In Finance For Close To 15 Years. 3 Unexpected Lessons I Learnt From Carrie Sun’s Private Equity.
If you are looking to break into the world of finance, don’t read this book. Its not for you. If you are interested in human behavior and psychology, 100% thumbs up.
What is the book about?
Carrie Sun went to MIT for undergrad (which she completed in 2 ½ years), worked for Fidelity investments and by all means proved to be an exceptional woman of exceptional abilities. She is then cherry picked to become the personal assistant to the hottest hedge fund in the world. For the purposes of the book, Carrie calls her boss Boone but we now know she worked for Tiger Global and her boss was Chase Coleman. The book details how Carrie’s idealism is broken into realism and then activism after which she quit.
Here were the 3 unexpected things it did for me.
1st lesson: It made me very grateful.
In the book, Carrie talks about how she felt objectified in her job at Fidelity. She says that her boss, an older white man, keeps talking about her Chinese descent and co-workers would objectify her and other female colleagues ranking their attractiveness on a number scale.
I’ve worked in finance for close to 15 years. I started my career in Citigroup for about 2 years and then worked for a recruitment firm which was a complete switch for me. I now work at a global financial company in an investment management capacity that pretty much everyone buys products from. I have dealt with clients from Singapore, to Hong Kong, to Australia and now New York.
I have felt disrespected, over-worked, and underpaid. But I have never felt objectified or sexualized in any manner.
If there were any instances, they were too few and far in-between that they honestly never registered.
At Citigroup, the worst that ever happened was me working over 80-hour weeks and being called into a room with 2 senior sales people who told me I was doing a bad job. That crushed my soul.
There was the odd client meeting where a man at a big Japanese bank talked to my chest rather than my face. That jarred me but by and large I managed to steer clear from the rampant sexualism that has chased women in finance.
Either this, or I am completely obtuse and did not have the sense to perceive any gestures as lewd, which in hindsight I am totally ok with. Ignorance can truly be bliss.
Nevertheless, reading Carrie’s book made me so grateful and thankful for the journey I have had in my career. This isn’t a realization I take lightly.
I have always felt somewhat emotionally wrung about my journey in finance. I know I deserve more whether its money or respect and I have truly seen some awful times. From being disrespected despite my very reasonable abilities, to being underpaid I have gone through the motions.
Reading Carrie’s book made me realize there are worse things to have gone through and gratitude was not one of the emotions I expected to feel when I read this book. I am grateful for the gratitude.
2nd lesson: To what extent will you stretch for the right reward?
We all have flaws. Kinks in our armor. If they are not checked, these flaws become gaping wounds. Wounds that can compromise our sense of objectivity and judgement.
By all accounts, Carrie is your regular human that is flawed. Her wounds stem from that crucible of crap - childhood.
She is raised by strict Chinese parents who do not show affection for fear of inducing complacency. The classic tale. What does this do? It invites perfectionism. It invites the need for Carrie to go so far in her quest for being the perfect secretary, so she can feel that sense of worthiness and affection, however misplaced that is. Result? She loses her mind, her peace and her health.
Some people will do anything for money. Because they did not have it. Some will do anything for respect, because they have no self-respect.
In Carrie’s case, she surrendered her soul and mind to the unbelievable perks that came with leading a hedge fund lifestyle. Why? Because she wanted to prove to her boss that she was worth it. Because she grew up never feeling that worth.
What are your kinks? What small thread if when pulled from your heart will cause you to unravel? To go unchecked?
What we don’t know about ourselves can awaken at the most imperceptible of moments and swallow us up whole. Recognize the hidden darkness and come to peace and understanding with it.
3rd lesson. Everyone has a dark tale.
There is a reason Carrie Sun graduated from MIT in 2.5 years.
She was raped.
It was shocking for me to read this. Why? Because if I had met Sun, I would have thought she had it all. She’s pretty, she’s so smart, she has the killer job with possibly a better salary, and a great romantic life etc.
It goes to show everyone has a tale to tell.
This struck me forcibly when Bill Gates talked about the pandemic and his divorce. “But I can’t deny that it’s been a year of great personal sadness for me. Adapting to change is never easy, no matter what it is.”
Even a billionaire can feel sad. As I type this my mind says “of course a billionaire can feel sad!”. The problem is my head knows it but not my heart. I know intellectually that no one leads a perfectly happy life. But in my heart my struggles make me feel alone.
Everyone has a sad story, regrets and aspects of their life they haven’t made peace with. What’s yours?
Thank you for reading my story. If you found value in it, please clap (once is nice, but 50 will help my story take off!), share, comment, follow or all four!
