MEET OUR FOUNDERS
What inspired co-founder Dalaine Krige to start Unashamed
It started by noticing inequality on a trip to sub-Saharan Africa…
“One of the things that I have learned from my father is that travel is the University of Life. From a young age I was shown sub-Saharan Africa, from Mozambique to Zimbabwe to Botswana. My parents are journalists so my life has been filled with stories of their adventures.
What struck me from a young age was that the world was not as it should be.
When we crossed the border into Mozambique I saw a country struggling to survive after a vicious civil war tore it apart. When we went to Zimbabwe I saw proud, successful people breaking under the weight of a tyrant that would not allow them to prosper. As I got older, I noticed that inequality existed within South Africa and that I did not have to cross a border to witness it. This realization started out small, with me noticing that I had friends who could do more due to their circumstances and, adversely, those who could do less. We were young and none of us had any control over our circumstances — it was what it was and we all lived with whatever hand of cards we had been dealt.”
When did you first become consciousness of gender inequality?
“I didn’t notice gender inequality until I went to an all girls high school. Of course it had always been there but I had never had cause to think about it. However, when I went to high school I became my own person and soon realized that many of my feelings were based on societal expectations for a girl at my age. It bothered me immensely that I wasn’t surrounded by boys, because a girl without a boyfriend is unwanted — unpopular. While I excelled academically and eventually matriculated as dux from my high school, I never felt good enough because I had never had a boyfriend.
Society had taught me to base my personal worth on my desirability. I was only good enough if boys wanted me.
I say society because it was definitely not my parents that encouraged this delusion. However, it was only in grade 10 when I was personally touched by sexual assault that I started to think about how it is not only girls that are affected by this culture.
In grade 11 a friend of mine was raped. In matric my best friend opened up about being raped in grade 9. During my final examinations, a femxle family member was raped. All of these rapes happened at the hands of men that these womxn knew. That they had invited into their houses. They were men that we all knew. Men that you would not expect it from. And, when confronted, most of these men had no comprehension of the damage they had done.”
What was your emotional response to this?
“It was during this time of my life that I became angry. My anger lasted for about a year and was eventually replaced by a steady resolve. I moved into a femxle residence and was exposed to highly worrying levels of sexism and rape culture on this campus, especially in male residences. I knew that I could not undo the damage that had been done. I could only do my best to change the culture we grow up in and live in.”
And is this when Unashamed became a reality?
“That is why I decided to co-found Unashamed, an organization that has set out to deconstruct rape culture, starting in South Africa. This is not a project that can be completed in one life time. It will take generations before we eradicate rape culture. While at times this is disheartening, I know that the more people we get to support our initiative, and initiatives similar to ours, the faster change will take place. It is my hope that Unashamed will be able to start a conversation in South Africa that is long overdue and that is needed to change our reputation as one of the rape capitals of the world. I want Unashamed to help survivors of assault to deal with their experiences in a safe and accepting space but I also hope that Unashamed will act as a vehicle of education, helping to prevent sexual assault and harassment. I studied International Relations, and am now studying Journalism, because I believe that a firm grasp of history and a clear understanding of how the political world works is necessary to dismantle rape culture and ensure that the necessary legislation and educational programmes are implemented. However, it starts with buy-in.
If we can get Stellenbosch University to buy into the idea that this is not only necessary but also possible, then we will be so much closer to overcoming this problem that has no place in the 21st century.
In love and strength,
DALAINE KRIGE
