From Russia, with Love
Jeff Sessions made the only mistake forbidden in the Trump administration — he got out whited.
Jeff Sessions is a good politician. It’s true! Do you know how we know he’s a good politician? He has regularly been in ideological dogfights and has retained his elected and appointed positions. That doesn’t make you a good public servant, but does make you a talented politician. There are certain death knells which chime out career catastrophe for politicians. Public criticism by the wife of our country’s only federally accepted avatars of human rights should be such a ringing bell. But J-Sesh is a cockroach baby. That little southern biscuit just gets more and more crusty. Sessions was opposed by Senate colleagues Cory Booker and John Lewis once his nomination for the post of Attorney General (I’ve just checked and found this is not an actual military position but a semantic method of creating gravitas — akin to Captain Crunch). Booker and Lewis are just the kind of person Sessions despises…
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…democrats (wink face emoji). However once more Sessions demonstrated that good politics will always trump general goodness and forged ahead. Sessions saw the writing on the wall for the GOP (coincidentally that wall is in a truck stop bathroom stall) and stumped hard for President Trump from the go. Which indicates one of, or a combination of the following: he is a political savant (probable), he saw in Trump a totem around which zenophobic nationalistic racist could rally (highly probable), somewhere on his forearm you’ll find the dark mark (just waiting for pictures). During speech in August he demonstrated his #MAGA bonafides by calling Rudy Giuliani the “greatest crime fighter of the last century” (record scratch sound effect in the bat cave), smiling like Jeff Sessions in a segregationist fever dream while attendees chanted “LOCK HER UP”, lauding Donald Trump’s courage and energy, and speaking at length about immigration before stating that Donald Trump wouldn’t be afraid “of them”.
Sessions has carved out a niche in American Politics which has always been favorable to drawl-flavored southerners — the “its my job to keep the law ‘round these parts” sheriff whose racism is pinned between the silver star and his chest. The brand of racism abhorrent to the collective American consciousness is the kind of a byegone era or far-off geography. It’s found in the easy target of the slave trade or African genocide. The type of racism we have long found palatable is that of Custer, Kit Carson and Jeff Sessions. Racism for the sake of lawfulness and safety. If you’re reckless your racism will cost you a job in the capital, if you’re savvy it may get you a statue.
Jeff Sessions is not the reckless type. He may sound like he’s from Hazard but he’s not one of the Duke boys. Jeff Sessions is accomplished, calculating and resilient. However he made one disastrous mistake — he let himself be out whited. Since the second world war our republic has been haunted by a pasty ghoul. Russia has consistently inspired a kinetic paranoia across multiple fields of American life. Russia served as our country’s HGTV for decades, encouraging us to build satellites, bomb shelters and nuclear missiles. Russia has proven time and again to be the only white villain we allow in our collective narrative. Jeff Sessions met twice with Sergey Kislyak, the Russian Ambassador to the United States. He was asked during confirmation hearings and in a letter sent following his confirmation hearings if he had met with any Russian government officials regarding the election. At every opportunity Jeff Sessions said he had not. Perjury is never black and white, but if you have to move your head back and forth while making the noise a old door makes when it swings open when determining if someone perjured themselves or not it is rarely a good sign. Sessions should have been forthright regarding his meetings. He could have said anything: “Serg’s a Skynard Fan, just like me!” “We were piercing our ears!” “Sergey does THE. BEST. OBAMA.” Anything would have done. Instead his denial beckons forth the specter. Ghost stories are usually silly and easily dismissed. Unfortunately for Mr. Sessions the campfire tale involving Russia forces America to feel what the victims of explicit and implicit racism must have felt and feel every day — fear.
