The Bulls Have Officially Collapsed
The ticking time bomb — no, the ticking time bomb that just snorted a line of cocaine that is the Chicago Bulls is finally exploding. Earlier this week, Jimmy Butler and Dwyane Wade voiced concerns, saying the rest of the team “doesn’t care enough.” Butler went on to add “I want to play with guys who care.”
The criticism of the rest of the team surprises no one. The uncertain future of Butler and Wade has been surfacing as of late, due to the fact that Wade does not want to be a part of a rebuilding team. Everything appeared to be just as terrible as it has been even after these comments, but then, Rajon Rondo might as well burned down the United Center to the ground with this Instagram:
Notice the picture does not include Ray Allen, who Rondo hates and believes is a terrible teammate. Rondo was not the only one to respond. Other players weighed in. Here’s a great tweet from Jerian Grant:
Now that you are refreshed on the situation. Let’s talk about it.
There may be teams way below them in the standings, but make no mistake, there is absolutely nothing redeeming about the Chicago Bulls right now. In fact, I would go as far to say that no other team is in worse shape than them. Even Jimmy Butler, who is unmistakably one of the NBA’s best players, has been squashed into a lifeless pool of misery that even 40-point games can’t solve. Here, Jimmy, take an Arby’s Beef n Cheddar, it goes great with sadness.
The current Bulls pit of despair started this offseason, adding onto a series of sad seasons with bad endings. The entire Bulls franchise has been like an extended episode of Days Of Our Lives for a couple of years now. It was just set further into motion by a series of fairly recent transactions.
It started when Chicago traded Derrick “7–21” Rose to the Knicks (another team in a state of miserable limbo) for Robin Lopez and Grant. This seemed to be a good move at the time, and probably still is one. As stated by the nickname I just gave him, Rose’s field goal percentage is usually about as low as the Rotten Tomatoes score for any Michael Bay movie.
This set everything into motion. After this, the Bulls signed Rondo, the Shiva of NBA teams, and Wade. Those are big names, but the Bulls were not getting anything close to what either of them used to be. They got basically the Cormac McCarthy version of these two players. Just old, grizzled dudes who probably sit outside in a rocking chair and drink moonshine out of a jug because they’ve “seen some things, man. Seen some stuff.” So basically, the Bulls signed two players with a total of two knees between them, and those two players brought Louis Vuitton premium luggage bags full of issues with them.
Then, insert Jimmy Butler. He is a player who has improved very much over the past three years (actually, the other day, I played my friend in NBA 2k14, and Butler was a 77 overall). Butler has wanted to be the guy since he turned into a cyborg two seasons ago. Keeping a young man-turned-cyborg has its own problems. Of course, Butler wanted to pursue a championship like a lot of his all-star counterparts. So, the answer to this, in the Bulls’ mind, was to bring in veterans to mix with him and help the Bulls get there.
This did not work. The Bulls are now like going to a Guns N’ Roses concert in 2016. In the 80s, people may have thought it was kinda cool that Axl Rose would show up to concerts drunk and stumble his way through a bad rendition of November Rain, but now, it is just really, really uncomfortable for everyone. Watching the Bulls play is sad. It makes me sad. I’m sure it makes anyone who is a fan of basketball sad. So, get out a big pot and mix sad basketball with guys who like criticize each other to the media and you have the Chicago Bulls (I could not think of a comparison because it is literally mind-blowing how much this team went to shit).
Rondo was right. His Instagram was right. Even though he is generally a plague to his team, his veteran eye was able to spot that Butler and Wade were wrong for criticizing the team to the media. Never has a leader calling out multiple players to the media worked for team chemistry- just ask Jim Kelly. Butler, although he is a fantastic player who definitely deserves more, needed to take a more mature route in leading a team that has obviously lost its way. Wade should just know that it’s wrong to do so, but it seems he’s entered full “get off of my lawn” mode. I mean, he played with Mario Chalmers for multiple years. You cannot tell me that he did not have his leadership tested while sharing the court with Chalmers.
The Bulls are now what everyone thought they would be: the NBA’s synthetic CDO:
They are an illusion that fooled no one. Everyone saw this coming. I hate to say it, but there is a simple solution to all of this: blow it up. Shop Butler, shop Wade and shop any other veterans. It may seem extreme, but Chicago would have never been in this position, if it did not decide to forgo the rebuilding process in favor of putting together a house of cards as a breeze rolls in the room. The Bulls out-Knicksed the Knicks.
Having a bad team that likes each other and plays hard is infinitely more promising than having a mediocre team with guys who would rather fall down a flight of steps than be in the same room with one another. So, Chicago, just do it. Blow up everything. I’ll take two seasons of MCW clanking threes off of the front of the rim if it means the team will rebuild. It’s like a band-aid, just rip it off.
So, while other teams may be bad, they at least get to enjoy their superstars having fun and being a great presence in the eyes of the media. The Chicago Bulls have nothing right now. They’re the NBA version of driving to Chick-fil-a on a Sunday.
It’s time for a change. Chicago, make that change.
