The Reason You Shouldn’t Lie to Yourself

Lauren Reiff
The Understanding Project
9 min readAug 17, 2019

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As young children, finger-wagging parents and social norms refined by millennia seared it into our consciences that lying is a sin of the worst sort. We knew all too well that there is something disgraceful and cowardly about telling a lie. Even if its expedience rescued us temporarily from a punishment or reprimand, we could not escape the uncomfortable knowledge of our own wrongdoing.

From childhood especially, we retain memories of the hot flush of shame we experienced in response to the taunt of others — “liar!” This was no doubt followed by a wash of angry defensiveness as we leaped into action to justify ourselves.

We have a very visceral relationship with lying. Lying appears to supersede the bounds of religion and to be rooted, instead, in universal ethics. Arguably, it’s something for which we’ve always had an instinctive palate. We are innately driven to distinguish truth from lies. Truth is gold and lies are cheap. In many ways, we’ve always known this without being explicitly told this.

That said, the social consequences of lying are not light. Lying hurts your reputation, requires you to field feelings of inner guilt, and generally makes you unlikable. Luckily, if we are tempted to lie, the looming threat of social ostracism naturally helps to keep us in line.Thus, to lie in the outside world is a no-brainer…

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