Fixing Stories of Survival, Part 3
Suicide prevention is possible through the primary source experience of suicide attempt survivors. Addressing short-term triggers should reduce suicide rates. What else can be done? One thing in particular comes to mind. When I originally sought to figure out how to improve suicide prevention measures, I thought back to January 2020. I just had my fifth formal mental health publication: “Why I No Longer Refer to My Attempt as Weak.”
When I had my official suicide survival story published on January 13th, there was so much that I did not know yet. For example, I had zero awareness that autism fundamentally influenced my thinking. This took me until 2023. What I did recognize were two flaws in how my survival story was ‘expected’ to be written. By changing them, I will fix how stigmatized and inefficient suicide survival stories are.
The year was 2019. I had my fourth mental health publication in September: “We Need to Take Suicide Prevention More Seriously.” Afterwards, my attention turned to the prospect of having my own suicide survival story published. At first, I felt nervous. All I knew was that you were supposed to write about how you survived suicide. Three years later, I would question why suicide survival stories are so inefficient.
I knew then, as I know now, that attempt survivors are relentlessly stigmatized by society. One reason can be credited to the modern news media. They misrepresent suicide through the continued use of the term murder-suicide. This associates all non-violent attempt survivors with rare but horrific mass violence, such as the Columbine High School massacre. Once a person hears the term murder-suicide, they are likely to fear survivors.
Unless you are well connected on social media, on average, those who would read your survival story could be counted on one hand. Not enough people see them to make a difference. I was once hushed by the stares I received during a meeting just for mentioning the word suicide. I get it. Acts of suicide do invoke intense trauma that is uncomfortable to feel. So when I wrote my survival story, I questioned the inclusion of one specific thing.
The attempt at suicide is the single most traumatizing part of the experience. Although formal publishers of survival stories ensure that they follow preset reporting guidelines, I was permitted to describe more about my attempt than was necessary. While I wrote about mine, this was also the first time I reflected on the experience in such detail. It was especially difficult for me to do. I cried three times — hard.
The solution is simple. Remove any and all focus on the suicide attempt. This will make it much easier for more survivors to share their experiences and will ensure they are not as edgy for the general public. Preventing stigma is not all that can be done to improve a suicide survival story. In fact, as I have read a number of them myself, many of the stories already focus on what is important to know: what happened before the attempt.
If survivors were to focus instead on at least two months before the attempt, what would we be likely to find? We would see proof of which short-term triggers were legitimately responsible for causing suicide attempts. What were once misunderstood emotion-driven narratives would now be precision research. This refined documentation could then be analyzed to efficiently improve prevention efforts — anywhere.
Suicide is a sensitive topic to talk about and a harsh experience to live with. I know. I have been there. Even after 21 years, I still remember much of what my “sleepless night” was like. With my objective improvements to survival stories comes an important responsibility. In order to avoid being further stigmatized, we must live by example. As suicide attempt survivors, it is necessary to be honest and protect anonymity.
I know how much it hurts. My rejections by women were depressing. The seemingly invincible mental health profession neglected those that they deemed to be high-functioning. I had no idea my thinking was so influenced by autism, to the point of falling prey to social and economic pitfalls that would ruin my life. They could have cost me my life four times. People need to know the truth. If you are going to do it, do it right.
The best way to reduce the stigma surrounding suicide is by educating the general public. The best way to ensure that this education is effective is by being mindful of what you share. Do not let the status quo of avoiding accountability win by not doing it right. Those who are victims of repeated bullying, harassment, or abuse deserve justice. In all of this, the most important part of a suicide story is what matters most: you.
No matter the struggles you have suffered through all the time since your trauma, remember that you are still here. Share how you have survived. You will not be the same person as before. I know. I left a part of myself behind. At least now I know the reasons why. I have succeeded in accomplishing what society believes is too difficult to do. Now I can guide a group that needs their own survival stories to be told: autistic people.
Suicide prevention is possible. Survivors are the key.
This is only just the beginning…
