Member-only story
On Loving a Beautifully Gendervague Partner
Autism, gender identity, and the neurodivergent experience of verbal assault
My partner and I got out of the car and sprayed each other down with sunscreen. It was a hot one, with the sun dazzling overhead. Not a cloud in the sky on that pavement-melting June day.
I sprayed his face, beard and all. Then the back of his neck and his bare legs, rubbing it in thoroughly.
I don’t mess around with sun exposure. I’m fiercely protective of my person.
“You look so good!” I told him for what was probably the hundredth time.
“No…Really?” he did a slow little twirl in his skirt.
“Yes! Look at your gorgeous legs! I’m jealous.”
He shook his head and smiled and blushed all at the same time as he searched for words — his signature bashful reaction to my compliments.
Blue is the love of my life. And for the first time ever, he felt brave and confident enough to express the feminine side of his gender identity publicly. Our city’s huge Pride celebration was a fitting occasion.
He wore a short pleated skirt, knee-high socks, bright floral canvas shoes, and a black crop top. His longish blue hair fell just below his ears.
