Recovering From Autistic Burnout: You Can’t Do It Alone
Why I have taken the step of signing up for a structured burnout recovery program — giving myself the opportunity to learn the things that I should have been taught a long time ago.
I’m the kind of person who likes doing things for themself. I very much agree with the saying, “if you want something done right, do it yourself.” As an autistic person, I have a lifetime of evidence that seeking help is ineffective and at times, even counterproductive. Over time, I learnt that no one truly understands my world and that I am better off dealing with all my struggles alone. I have always been wary of structured programs. I’m a lone wolf by nature.
So, why have I now decided to sign up for a 6-months group autism burnout recovery program starting this September? Have I perhaps gone mad?
No (well, not more than I already am). I have just decided that this time, it’s different. This time, I am signing up for something that is truly made for me. The program I have entered is made by Heather Cook, an autistic person who has gone through the experience of deep burnout and has spent years learning how to design her own life around her needs as an AuDHD person, away from the expectations of society, to make her lifestyle truly sustainable for herself, and avoid cycles of burnout repeating themselves over and over again.
I attended a workshop done by Heather once, which covered tips for AuDHD people to design their careers around their own true needs and wants. I remember I was left thinking, “I wish I could have this kind of support more often.” The meeting chat was full of people who were facing the same challenges as me. It made me feel less alone. So when I received an email from her saying that subscriptions are open for her new autism burnout recovery program, I felt like this was exactly what I needed.
As a late-discovered autistic and multiply disabled person, I have spent all my life living despite my own needs, not for them. Going against my own grain, I have internalized a deep sense of difference, and I have lost touch with my internal experience. My “internal map,” so to speak, has become illegible. I was too busy trying to survive and adapt to have the luxury of truly getting to know myself. Now, I realize that I have a second chance. I also realize that my forced hyper-independence has been a contributor to my sense of isolation, and now that I have more clarity on my needs, I can be more flexible in how I approach the concept of “help.”
Coming out from deep autistic burnout is no joke. If you are like me, and burnout was triggered by the very discovery of being autistic, you are dealing with a lot of things at once. Exhaustion, skill regression, sense of isolation, financial problems, misunderstanding from those around you, discovery of your own identity, re-evaluation of your whole life, uncertainty about what the future holds…most importantly, the world you have inhabited so far wasn’t made for you. And you don’t know what a world made for you would look like. After realizing I’m autistic, it has been a step forward and a relief for me to recognize that I can get help from some like-minded spirits to find that out.
For one, I am excited about the idea of being with other people who get it — I’m used to being the only person in the room with a certain experience, but now the whole “room” will likely be dealing with the same things. Yay! The program, Beyond Autistic Burnout, is a group program with live sessions and worksheets that progressively help you to navigate the process of redesigning your life around your true needs and wants, moving from masking to sustainable authenticity. It will start in early September and end in February. Six months of good work.
Full disclosure: what finally convinced my broke, suspicious self is Heather’s disclaimer that “If you give this system a fair try, implement what is presented in the meetings, do the work, deeply question your old programming, and don’t notice any improvement in your burnout within the six months of the course, let me know and I will refund your money in full.” I figured I couldn’t lose.
As much as I love being self-sufficient, I also deserve the support that was denied to me my whole life, and I am lucky enough to live in an era where the autistic community has self-organized to support each other. After autistic burnout, I have no inclination to keep going against myself for the sake of society. I’m excited to open a new chapter of my life where I can cultivate more authentic connections and tailor my life to the workings of my mind.
Disclaimer: I am an affiliate partner of this program. I deeply value both my writing and authenticity, so I mean everything I wrote in this article. This is by no means intended as a sales post but as a way to give visibility to an autistic initiative in which I believe, and to encourage other autistic people to find the support they need, in whatever form works for them.
