A year-long magical mystery tour

For the past three years I’ve chosen a word. A word — or theme — that I believe will support me in getting where I want to go that year.

The years of TRUST and INTENTION were incredibly full on. For 2017 I hoped for something lighter, something less about everything going on inside me and more about the world around me.

So when BOLD came up I was really up for having some fun with it.

I was up for it being a big year. Being public, visible and making plenty of noise!

After all, how could BOLD be anything else?

You’d think I’d have learned in the first two years that my themes never quite turn out how I expect. They are full of twists and turns, and show up in my life in ways I never imagined. Always for the better. Always helping me to move towards my goals. But often in surprising ways I could have never have predicted.

BOLD was no different.

BOLD was nothing like I expected it to be.

BOLD isn’t always loud. BOLD isn’t always visible. BOLD isn’t always about being the centre of attention.

BOLD can be quiet. BOLD can be private. For me BOLD became about not having to explain or justify myself for not showing up in the way myself or other expected me to. BOLD was often about taking invisible actions and learning that I didn’t need the world to validate what is important to me, or approve of my choices and priorities.

BOLD has been a year of teaching me how to be unapologetically myself.

And although it wasn’t quite the party I was expecting, it has been the most satisfying and rewarding year of my life yet.

I want to make a difference

Like many others I feel a deep need to use my skills and strengths to make a difference to others.

Until this year I thought that meant putting everyone else first. Only when I got to the bottom of the list of everyone else’s needs could I start to think about my own.

However as my year of BOLD progressed my understanding of how to make a difference shifted quite radically.

Putting everyone else’s needs and expectations first, real and perceived, had led to burnout, stress and illness over the years.

I could be doing far more to fulfil my desire to help and support others if I was healthy and full of energy. I could do more if I focused on making a difference in a way I enjoyed that made the most of my strengths. I could do more if I was fulfilling my needs and was helping from a place of feeling really good.

So as this year progressed I focused more and more on what felt good for me. What lit me up and brought me joy. I started to prioritise the things that were important to me and let go of things that were draining. Because the stuff I’m not so good at there will always be someone that it comes easy to and they enjoy, I can make a much bigger difference if I focus on the stuff that energises me anyway.

To make that mental shift took a huge amount of BOLD. There were plenty of times when the voice in my head wanted me to take the “easy” route of people pleasing (which let’s face it is actually more exhausting than easy) and on a good few occasions it still won. With more practice my ability to be BOLD in listening to myself and trusting myself got stronger.

BOLD also helped to remind me that making a difference can be small and barely noticeable. These days we’re only ever a click away from someone making a big visible impact in this world it’s easy to forget that positive actions can be quiet and private too.

Not everything has to be Facebook status worthy or instagrammable.

Are you fulfilling your potential?

I feel blessed to be surrounded by people who believe in me. People who believe I can do amazing things with my life. However over the years the pressure has got to me, mainly through that little voice in my head that is oh so conscious that perhaps my career and life doesn’t look as awesome as it could potentially be.

I have felt so aware that from the outside it probably looks like I’m living a much smaller life than the one that might be possible for me.

Yet this year, the year I chose to be BOLD in letting go of the pressure to be visible, has been my happiest year so far.

I’ve given myself permission to quietly work on creating strong foundations in my life and work. I’ve learned to ignore the temptation to get distracted by social media posts suggesting that I should be “putting my work out there” or I’m letting myself down.

Allowing myself the time and space to really understand what it is I want to do with my life, what makes me happy and how I can use that to make a difference to others has felt like one of the greatest achievements of my life.

Even if there are no awards associated with it. No outward visible achievements or accolades to “prove” the progress I’ve made. Nothing to validate that this has been my greatest year yet other than the way I feel. Nothing other than the fact I have a greater sense of inner peace and joy than I have ever had before.

My year of being BOLD has nothing to do with shouting from the rooftops. It had everything to with shifting my mindset, perceptions and experience of life so I can be BOLD in whatever I’m doing. Whatever feels right for me.

I’ve learned that my enjoyment of life and achievements aren’t dependent on how the rest of the world sees me. Of course external recognition is nice, and I’ll happily embrace it when it shows up. But I don’t need it. I can get all the validation I need from within (most of the time… let’s face it I’m still human!!!)

The next chapter

There is sometimes a temptation to slip back into my old ways of thinking.

If other people can’t see what you’re doing does it really count?

It is so easy to forget that this world of being so hyper-connected and visible is relatively new. Just because it isn’t visible to the rest of the world doesn’t mean nothing is happening.

We’ve developed expectations and opinions about what people should and shouldn’t be doing forgetting we only see the snapshots and highlight reels. For centuries a majority of people haven’t been telling the world about their every move. There are still plenty of people today who live their lives quietly and privately offline while still achieving plenty to be proud of and making a valuable contribution to the world (my husband being one of them).

So what will 2018 bring for me?

This year I really do hope my theme word takes me places that are more visible, but in a very different way to my hopes a year ago. This time I’m excited about sharing things with the world because it brings me joy to do so. Not because of the pressure to live up to my potential. Or because I need validation, permission or approval.

I hope my theme word next year is full of sharing joyfully and having a ton of fun along the way.

Whatever it ends up being I know if it makes a fraction of the impact that BOLD has, it is going to be another awesome year!

What will your theme word be next year? Join me over the festive period to set your theme word with a free short guided theme setting audio and worksheet.

Whatever happens in 2018 — whichever unexpected distractions pop up to throw you off track — your theme will be there as the simplest tool for bringing you back to where you want to be!