How to pursue your dreams even if you’re feeling sick, disconnected and stuck

Do you feel torn?

Torn between following what everyone else seems to be doing — the routine, what’s normal and accepted — and moving towards something that feels infinitely more YOU?

Perhaps you and your family are being pulled towards change — an uncomfortable feeling that won’t go away — but you can’t see beyond the daily mill you’re in. The need to belong, to fit in, to live up to expectations is so strong it’s like programming. But you know deep down its bullshit. It’s not the path to happiness and fulfilment, it’s just what everyone does. And the thing that scares you the most is your kids getting sucked into this way of doing things and away from what makes their heart sing.

You know helping your kids live life unlimited means doing it yourself. It means breaking free of old patterns and fears and being the change you want to see in the world.

Easier said than done, right?!

You’re afraid. You’re afraid you’ll miss out or be left behind. You’re afraid that you’ll fail. You’re afraid you’ll negatively impact your kids future…your future. You’re afraid that being yourself and pursuing your dreams means you’ll become more disconnected than you are right now.

You’re afraid the stakes are just too high

How can you go with your gut and follow your heart when everything and everyone else seems to indicate you should do the complete opposite?

Don’t beat yourself up. There are millions of people, millions of families, feeling tethered to the same stuff as you. We’re simply not taught how to thrive in society and create life our way - we’re not taught how to tune into and follow our internal compass. In this digital age, where we’re literally bombarded with popular opinion and measures of ‘success’, it’s not surprising we feel sick and it’s no wonder we feel adrift when we start to question our status quo. It’s the perfect environment for those limiting beliefs about what’s possible to bubble up and bite us on the bum.

This is deep-rooted stuff

It’s social, cultural, class, family programming and It’s grounded in belief systems that span generations. You’re this, they’re that. They can, you can’t. You need this and you must have that. This is good and that is bad. We’re right and they’re wrong. Unless you’ve lived in a bubble you’re going to have this stuff to contend with. We all do.

We’re also wired to want to belong. Connection with others is a very real and basic human need — we literally die younger without it. Look back throughout history and you’ll see examples of how banishment from the tribe, from the group, is used as a punishment akin to death. It’s serious stuff. Feeling left out, ostracised, disconnected, alone is so abhorrent it kept social order.

Are you getting where I’m going with this?

When we feel the urge to change things up it can feel like we’re sitting on the periphery of life and our social circle - It’s like you’re not quite in it or out of it. This can mean we don’t feel connected, supported or understood. Even if you have fab friends, they might not be the tribe who help you through this one. They don’t necessarily get it.

It feels shit

I know what it’s like to feel sick. Like really sick. But, I came to the conclusion that I’d rather feel sick and pursue my dreams rather than feel sick because I’m not doing anything about it. Because I’m ignoring my gut, my intuition and who I really am and because I’m worried I’m modelling all this for my daughter. It got to a point where there was no choice.

Stagnating and feeling as though you’re on the periphery of your current ‘scene’ is not a good place to be. When you decide to dive into what you stand for, what lights you up and what you really want as a family and for your kids you’re able to take small steps towards your dream life that build in momentum.

And the thing that makes the difference?

Connection with people who understand and who have your back.

Disconnection can act like an elastic band that pulls you back to what you know. Better to fit in and follow the trend, than feel alone. But when you have somewhere else to go for support, a tribe you gets you and where you’re at, the elastic band isn’t quite so taught. In fact, from my experience, you are able to enjoy the mill you’re in because you’re doing it on your terms. Not doing what everyone else is doing stops being so scary.

You can march to the beat of your own drum and show your kids how they can do the same.

What can you do right now to move forward?

Tuning into YOU is a really good place to start.

You might like to play around with the following questions and see what comes up for you.

It’s also something you can use with your kids when they need to navigate their own challenges.

What do you really want? REALLY WANT. Even if it seems impossible or super hard.

Why do you want this — what will this give you?

What’s stopping from doing the things that will make it happen?

What’s currently working for you? What are your strengths?

How can you do/use more of this to help you achieve what you want?

What do you need?

What’s the easiest step you can take right now to move forwards?

This exercise doesn’t have to result in big moves and grand gestures. It’s more about tuning in and feeling more empowered to take small steps forwards…even when you feel a little bit queasy.

If this resonates with you click the 👏 and you’ll help others find it. If you’re shouting HELL YES then why not join The Unlimited Club mailing list. I’ll only ever send you an email when I have something to share.