Does My Butt Look Big On This Website?

Lara Eastburn

Small Businesses just CANNOT Google everything. But man do we try.

I once spent 2 hours searching Google Images in an attempt to diagnose my daughter’s rash after her doctor couldn’t figure it out. (It was a terrifying reaction to LIME JUICE, believe it or not.)

Before deciding on which version of a Kindle I’d buy, I read over 60 Amazon reviews.

I pulled my hair out for nearly a year teaching myself Facebook’s Power Editor for Ads.

It is in my nature to research the CRAP out of everything I want to know. Sometimes it goes well. Other times, it does not.

Over the years, I’ve compiled a mental list of things Google just CAN’T help me with.

Taxes is one of them. Not having to do that shit yourself is priceless.

Cooking is another. There’s a reason there are as many FAIL boards on Pinterest as there are Cupcake boards.

So for a small business owner as DIY-stubborn as I am, the question becomes …

WHEN SHOULD I JUST PAY SOMEONE TO DO/TEACH ME THIS?

Here’s how I make that call. I calculate it in minimum wage hours. Because common sense is how I roll.

If you’ve ever worked a minimum wage job, you probably know what I mean. You want to eat out and you reason that the meal is going to cost you $35, plus tip. So you translate that into time. I’ll have to work 5 hours to pay for that shrimp scampi and a glass (ahem, or 2) of wine.

Makes decisions easier, doesn’t it?

But when it comes to learning fundamental business skills, so many of us are willing to pay the highest price in HOURS, but the lowest price in dollars.

What a waste! If you’re looking for where your business is leaking money, there’s your culprit right there. You were perfectly willing to spend 25 hours ($181.25 at the minimum wage here in Tx) figuring out how to read your Google Analytics. But you balked at the course that could have solved your problem in 2 hours. It was $79 … egads!

And then there’s the questions you spend countless hours on that have NO Google-able answer.

Which is what this article is really about.

THOSE TIME-WASTING QUESTIONS are actually pretty simple to spot once you know how.

They often include the words “I” or “my”.

They often include the word “should.”

For example:

How do I know if my sales page is working?

Should I be on Twitter?

What should I be charging for … ?

Is my offer attractive?

Google can no more answer these questions for you than it can tell you if your butt looks big in that dress.

Because these questions are about YOU. And YOU, my weird, wonderful, friend, are not a part of the search engine algorithm.

So, for the love of God, stop searching Google for business answers it does not & cannot have.

Don’t ask your best friend. Because she thinks your butt looks great in everything. (It does, by the way).

Don’t ask yourself. You’re really not a good judge of your own work. Sorry, no one is. Might as well accept that now.

Ask someone who does the stuff for a living. Yes, just like you go to a CPA for your taxes. Just like you don’t fix your own transmission.

How will you know if you’re asking the right person?

They use the word “you.” They don’t use the word “should.” They answer your email personally and timely. And they tell you the truth.

Just so you know, this is what the truth sounds like:

You know what? Your butt is phenomenal. But it doesn’t look its best on your website/social media right now. And here’s what I recommend we do to fix it. In order of priority. With clear prices. How does that sound to you?