Love and Attachment
By: N. Mozart Diaz
“All you need is love!” sing the Beatles, Love, love love love love. I could say it as many times as I want, and it still retains its meaning. Love is the anthem of generations, for as long as I can look back — into history books, cultures, and peoples — love is a central theme in everything, and why wouldn’t it? Love is an addictive, intoxicating, and seductive emotion with the ability to bring even the strongest men and women on earth to their knees. Much like love potions in the Harry Potter universe — it is quite dangerous, and just as potent.
However, not all cultures have had the same definitions of love as we do (the Greeks alone had at least 5 different definitions) — and in the most connected society the world has ever known, more and more definitions emerge : Food is Love, To Love is to Live, Love is all you need, etc. And all this has played the word down into something or someone or anything at all that you are attached to — and when we realize that we are attached, it’s already too late.
Now, if there are any effects of attachment that may bring good — they are unknown to me (so just let me know if there are any); but all I’ve seen in attachment is hurt, pain, frustration, and anxiety. I’ve been so attached to so many people in my life that majority of this year has been dealing with the consequences they bring. Being attached to someone is not only unhealthy, emotionally exhausting, and psychologically damaging, but it also manifests itself long after that person or addiction is gone. In the long run, we become paranoid, afraid, and unable to bring ourselves to truly love in fear that it would be just as painful as the last time.
Love is not like this; love — if it’s true — should be easy. Despite all the pain, anger, and frustration it brings us if it’s true, it’s worth it. Love is selfless, it does not conform to the idea that you ‘own’ someone in a relationship, i.e. ‘my bae’ ‘my sweetheart’, ‘me, my, mine’. To love is to be vulnerable, that you have to love yourself first — all your flaws, imperfections, idiosyncrasies, quirks and all — in order to truly love someone, for they have their own persona, their own selves.
