The ‘cost’ of individuality

Over the last 6–9 months, I’ve personally undergone a new and exciting journey of establishing myself in the world, and the person that I truly want to be.

This may sound like a simple process to some, but from personal experience and looking at those around me, I can tell that not a great deal of people truly commit to establishing the self-awareness to even embark on this journey. Let alone pursue the process, through out the trials and tribulations you WILL encounter.

What does it ‘cost’ to become someone you’re completely comfortable with?

Perhaps this is a question that not many people sit and mull over. I, for one, didn’t realise what lay ahead of me when I began to explore my own habits, perspectives, prejudices, emotions and beliefs.

But, I do know, that I would face all the denial and all the challenges again to arrive at where I’m at.

Seems like Einstein did some pretty great things — as an individual.

A little deeper…

Without going into my own story, I think establishing your true self is an adventure that many won’t ever experience, and few others will get even close to completing (and when I say ‘completing’, I mean facing and eliminating all denial, and embracing all your strengths and weaknesses, to arrive at an individual you can be proud of).

So let me start by saying that in a day and age where people are born into cultures that possess so much (if not total) influence over the general population, becoming your own person can be…let’s say ‘difficult’.

Standing out from the crowd is different (well that’s pretty much the definition, isn’t it?). In a lot of ways, it can be frowned upon.

Growing up, we seek the approval of our peers, turning to not only authoritative figures for direction, but to those we desire to connect with and spend the most time around.

There’s a point, however, where the ‘pack mentality’ for some is challenged by the curiosity for the ‘new’, the ‘unknown’ or ‘something else’.

People become their own person, for the most part. That’s part of growing up. There are, however, those of us who seek a great deal more than what conventional cultures and mainstream activities present us with.

What I’m trying to get across here, is that becoming unique or eccentric, compared to the average joe, is totally okay!

If whatever you’re doing doesn’t hurt anyone else, offend anyone around you, and isn’t destructive, then why shouldn’t you embrace those facets of your life?

Facets that you may always have known set you apart from others.

Facets that you just discovered, but are tentative to further engage in, in fear of ridicule by friends, family or even the public.

Facets that even you aren’t quite sure of. But when you think about them, seem completely fine. Or when you engage in them, make you feel so good, and so right about yourself.

Because they’re neither bad nor good. They’re just what you’re interested in.

And this dude…well, he looks pretty important. He must be right.

The ‘costs’

Now the point of this article started out as a question to myself really, as to whether I was comfortable with alienating certain people and groups because of the change in attitude and perspective I’ve slowly undergone (and will continue to undergo I imagine, until the end of my days).

Along the way, I’ve slwoly left my friends from school. Not because they did anything wrong, or because I don’t like them, but because we were just becoming very different.

At University, I’ve begun to notice a drift between those I initially became quite close with and connected with. Now, we barely speak, and if they happen to glance up and see me coming towards them, they tend to avoid me.

I’ll admit I have gone out of my way to make some statements about how okay I am with being different to a lot of others. And I was confused as to why so many people took this the wrong way. But then I realised that just because my intentions are still genuine, and aren’t in the way of hurting the feelings of others or belittling others, they still placed me in a very different light.

But if you’re truly ready to become something unique and proud of, these issues shall slowly come and go. You may experience some distress (as I imagine I will, too), but in the wider scheme of life, is it really that disastrous?

In ten years time, will you look back at the challenges you faced and say to yourself, ‘I had some rough times, but I’m glad I overcame them to become the person I am now’. Or will you sit with regrets, into your last days, knowing you were deterred by the judgement of others, who unwittingly went with the rest of the world on what ‘the way’ was at the time?

I hope this piece was of some interest to some, and if not, please leave some constructive criticism — this really is a great place to share some honest thoughts.