This is a really simple topic, I’ll admit, but recognising the situations that this problem presents itself in I feel is key to leading a lot happier a life.
Do you ever get sick of people, to the point where you wonder whether they’re worth actually hanging around all that much?
I mean, people you may become annoyed with or feel indifferent with may be some of your best friends, and it’s a series of minor incidents that push you to ask — ‘do I really want these people around at the moment’?
I feel it’s a battle that a lot of people engage with internally, unaware that this is merely an indication of personal difference. And that is fine.
The problem is recognition. A lot of people don’t connect the dots, or don’t assert their individual preference enough.
Instead, we go along and continue to engage, trying to please others. What ends up happening is we build contempt and resentment. And we don’t necessarily want to. But that’s what happens when you feel like going along with others’ plans and doing things that you “don’t mind doing”, especially when it’s with people who you are normally on the same page with.
Lately I’ve encountered moments of anger, frustration and unbalance. I am acutely aware of these feelings, as I practise staying grounded as much as possible and seeking a mind-set which facilitates ongoing contentment (note, not necessarily ‘happiness’, but contentment).
Sensing these feelings, I stay quiet and relaxed to attempt reflection on why I may be feeling somewhat frustrated.
And I realised it the other day. I’m getting a little lost in amongst pleasing others or adhering to the agenda of others around me, without recognising that I should just go do ‘me’.
This is a great thing. And perhaps a simple lesson for a lot of others who are very conscious of their surroundings and interactions. I’m naturally a gregarious character, but I forget a lot of the time to pool my energy towards myself, rather than become lost in amongst friendships and meeting new people.
Is this selfish?
The answer — not at all.
There is plenty of time to socialise, relate to one another, go out and party. But you are, at the end of the day, an individual.
As a younger male, I’ve only begun to assert my sense of individuality recently, gaining preference for the social activities and people I wish to engage with. It’s actually resulted in somewhat of a ‘cull’ more than anything else. But in a good way.
Why go anywhere, with people that you may have trouble relating to a lot of the time? Or attend events that don’t really satisfy your interests?
Yes, to help others. Or be there for friends. Or try something new. These are all VERY valid reasons why to.
But if you’re only just catching on to the idea (like me) that you need to take time and energy for yourself sometimes, to save others from receiving the blame for your own boredom or dissatisfaction — pull your thumb out and do it.
Go walk by yourself. Have some food somewhere by yourself. Go see that other group of people you know you can relate to at the current point of time.
It’s just not worth sacrificing some relationships and time/energy to stick with ‘the people you hang with’. I know the feeling all too well — scratching your head and building up excuses as to why people in your life are pissing you off.
Go do you. If you’re ready to do you.
