This Is Why I Don’t Make a Deal Out Of My Birthday.
Today is the day. 28 years ago, or at least according to the Gregorian calendar, I escaped the confinements of that (as Stewie would put it) wretched womb.
According to tradition, this is cause for celebration. Celebrating the event that I’ve managed to be conceived and then not die for a period of 28 years. That’s great. These are my excpectations for the day:
- My iPhone will die before noon.
- Facebook feed will be flooded so that I can’t find all those important posts any more.
- People that are never in touch will suddenly appear, asking how I’ve been, it’s been so long, promising that we shall rondez-vous in the near future, (which we won’t, because that’s of course the reason we’re not in touch in the first place).
- Its going to be a hard day of work, continously interupted which means I’ll have to work stupidly late tomorrow.
Do I sound bitter? Well yes I probably do. But I’m really not, these are just things that occur on a typical birthday now that I’m older. Its not like when I was 5 and the whole world came to a halt to celebrate. And its not that I don’t like people getting in touch with me either.
But why does it have to be for a reason?
First of all, why celebrate the memory of somebody being born? We’re obviously still around. So, why not celebrate every day of us being alive? I can’t see any reason for feeling special if it’s just one day a year. And to be honest, this quantative saturation of egocentrism is not my thing at all.
For many people, their birthday seems to be a day of recieving validation of social status and virtue. A Facebook filled with congratulations can be a total crusher for those who compare. What if the amount of messages have dropped from the previous year? Or a friend of your’s hasn’t written? Does that mean you have failed this year, that that friendship is over. A cause for panic to some. Maybe even depression.
You’re sense of self will naturally get pretty distorted if you only judge your life on a single event on a single day each year.
But what if instead you looked at what’s been going on the rest of the year?
Just like my good friend Zoltan put it, if you’re out taking a snap shot like a groupie/selfie, you’re probably taking more than one picture. The one you’re going to upload to your favorite social media is probably going to be the one you think is the best. Everyone does this, so for 1 beautiful picture there is probably 10–20 shitty ones. And when you only see everyone posting beautiful pictures, it’s easy to forget that they too have lots of crappy awkward photos on their phones that you’ll never get to see.
If you count the thousands of people you have met during the last 12 months, all the people that made you smile, that you made smile, that you kissed, hugged, shared with, had moments with… that seems like a fairer picture to me, as opposed to basing all your achievements on this single day of the year.
So I encourage you, use your birthday to reflect on what’s really been going the last year. Sit down and think of how much you have changed, evolved, grown as a person. What do you want more of in your life? What do you want to avoid? What is your plan for the coming year? What are your dreams? Write it down. Make it your day of reflection, not a day of accumulating validation.
Accept the people that call to wish you the best. But also accept those who don’t. If you really want them in your life — make the call yourself. Why haven’t you been in touch earlier? No one is obligated to make a big deal out of “your” day. Remember that yesterday was the birthday of millions of people, but to you it was just another day.
So why not do everyone a favor and get off that high egocentric horse and celebrate life, every single day.
And sing Hallelujah while you’re at it.
Cheers
