Dear Zizou: A Fan’s Email to a Manager on the Verge of Something Special

Dear Zidane

Thank you and sorry.

Okay, let’s hold up. You might be surprised or even agitated to see this e-mail. It’s natural, you are hours away from the biggest match of the season and “ping”, pops up an email by someone who hails from a country which was declared one of the ten least passionate football fan bases in 2010 (refer to Soccernomics for more details on this). I don’t belong to that tribe man. Ever since the Fabio Capello days I’ve been a Real Madrid fan less, and a lover more. But we will dissect my love for the love later. We have more important issues to address so let’s get down to business.

Thank you for giving us the league title. Even though Champions League glory has been raining down on us for the last few years (wood-touch), it was getting on our nerves to see the Catalan club win eight of the last thirteen league titles. What was a 29–16 lead midway through last decade, has shrunk to 33–24. We are Real Madrid; we should be the best in every competition. It wasn’t fun to lose the league title to our arch-rival over and over again. The last non-Mourinho manager to lead us to La Liga was Bernd Schuster of all the people (that was not to demean your accomplishment, just an anecdote that I thought was amusing). So on behalf of all the Madridistas, thank you.

And sorry Zizou. I wasn’t convinced that you were the man to lead us, at least at the time of your appointment. I thought it was a PR stunt by Perez to cover-up for his boneheaded decision of hiring Rafa Benitez the previous year. Rafa Benitez is the Chris Pratt of football, someone who can lift bad clubs to the good ones but not the good ones to the best in the world status. He is the same guy who rolled out a formation in the Champions League final that required 12 men. It was never destined to work out in the first place and when he hired you, it felt like the final nail in Perez’s presidential coffin. Yes, you are one of the best to step on the field of football but isn’t there enough evidence to show that being a great player has nothing to do with being a great coach?

When you were pummeled 2–0 by Wolfsburg in the quarterfinals of Champions League, a side which Madrid of the past would’ve wiped the floor with, all my fears it seemed like were coming to fruition. Your players were running around like headless chickens, and you had the look of a dog that had just wet the rug. But probably I judged you way too soon. Tactical mastery wasn’t your strength (at least at that time point), man management was. You used your larger than life persona and storied history as a footballer to communicate with your men, something which except for Ancelotti to some extent no other manager mastered.

The return leg at Bernabeu was the perfect foreword to this book that you are writing in the Madrid capital. The side showed resilience and composure that you expect from a world beating side like this one. They remained unfazed by the task at hand and with Ronaldo (more on him later) as the tip of the spear, pierced through the Wolfsburg side. When we came back from 1–0 down to win 2–1 at Camp Nou with ten men, it was another game in what is now a long list of miraculous resurrections. The on-the-pitch product is not the prettiest, we have seen more cohesive and free-flowing football under Mourinho and Carlo, but you gave this team something that it has lacked ever since Fabio Capello roamed the sidelines — a spine.

While Florentino Perez was busy collecting Galacticos, he assembled a side that would breeze past opposition if everything was going in their favor but they stumbled whenever the game was mucked up a bit. Nothing is a better evidence of this than us wrestling back our supremacy in the Madrid derby. Watch any of the Madrid derbies from the last three seasons in La Liga and it was way too easy for Atletico players to get into their head. Madrid players seemed like those professional fighters who were out of their element the moment it turns into a street fight. But you taught them, that despite the Moneyball-ification of the game, there’s something beyond the Xs and Os and the lineups you throw out there. People can quantify Sergio Ramos’s heading ability, but they can’t put a number to his will of putting the ball in the back of the net.

You had a side brimming with stars and alpha dogs, and for the most part did a spectacular job of keeping everybody content. Sure, injuries to crucial players at crucial moments and having a deeper squad did help your cause, but Asensio and Vasquez were not household names at the start of the season that they are right now. The rotation not only kept your roster for the most part healthy (except for Bale who probably needs a football exorcism) and sharp for the later stages of the season. Nothing is a better image of that than Cristiano Ronaldo soaking in the adulation of the Bernabeu faithful after scoring a hat trick.

Ancelotti tried but failed, Benitez (who I think was not even considered a coach by Ronaldo) never stood a chance, but you did it. You somehow managed to poke through his supernova-sized ego and convinced him to take one for the team (the last statement might sound like an insult to Ronaldo, but it is not. Love you Ronnie). After finishing 2014 and 2016 season injured and contributing nothing to the two UCL finals except for a couple of photos that made almost every male embarrassed of themselves, he’s finally peaking at the right time. Maybe you caught him at the right time — with the humbling and fulfilling experience of winning silverware with his country in the back of his mind, he decided to take the foot of the pedal slightly.

Lionel Messi ran away with the Pichichi trophy and Ronaldo wasn’t even in the top 10 of the European Golden Shoe race, in part because you stood firm with your rotation policy. I’m pretty sure that must have burnt a hole in his heart knowing that his days of winning individual accolades are behind him (but that shiny Ballon D’or will be well within grasp if the team manages to lift the Cup on Saturday). We’ll never know but whatever you did, you not only extended our Champions League campaign but also probably added a couple of years to Ronaldo’s career. And for that, I’ll forever be grateful to you.

All this takes nothing away from the tactical acumen you’ve shown over the course of the year. Let’s be fair, you are not a Guardiola or Conte or Allegri, but you’ve grown in that aspect game after game, often changing formations based on the personnel you had in hand and bringing on substitutions which had an immediate impact on the game. It’s not everybody’s cup of tea but you sir surely enjoyed the cup that was served to you.

But there’s no time to relax. We have a game to prepare for Zizou, and it’s the biggest one of the season. So I’m just here to chime in on certain things that I think you should address going into the final. I know I am just a 22-years old nobody, but I have to be honest about something — I don’t have a good feeling going into the match. There’s just too much karma going against us — Juventus has as many Champions League in their storied history as we have won in the last three years, Buffon has never won this competition in his illustrious career, everyone on this planet except for Real supporters will be rooting for the Old Lady and the fact that we have snatched several victories from the jaws of defeats in this season, it seems like we are due to be on the receiving end of one ourselves and what better way to do it than on the grandest stage of them all.

So sit back, grab a glass of Aldi rosé and let me guide you through some of the dos and don’ts for the Champions League Final:

1. Do not start Bale

Convey my apologies to the Welsh star but no, he can’t be in the starting lineup when the players lineup for the UCL anthem. You’ve seen it first-hand my dear French. Remember the 2014 final against Atletico when Diego Simeone started a-clearly-injured Diego Costa? He was forced to take him off within the first 12 minutes and in the process ended up costing his team a substitution, which he clearly could’ve used when we spanked his team in the extra-time because his players were running on fumes. And Simeone could still be forgiven for giving him a shot — he was their best scoring threat and a perfect foil for the Real’s defense. But if blow this decision, you’ll have no place to hide (and the latest El Clasico should serve as a reminder of all that could potentially go wrong in the final).

Coming into the season with Ronaldo in the sidelines, we all that this will be the year when Bale takes the figurative Bernabeu throne from Cristiano. But an ankle injury prematurely ended our hopes, and it has never been the same (and you should start looking into this whole Bale injury thing, this is his 17th different injury since joining us four years ago). On the other hand, people have thrived in his absence especially a certain Andalusian midfielder who goes by the name of Francisco Román Alarcón Suárez.

Isco has been unconscious over the last two months of the season and the €30 million move is looking like the heist of the decade given that Andre Gomes ended up costing Barcelona €35 million, plus €20 million in add-ons (yeesh!). He’s the closest you can come to cloning Iniesta and if you still don’t understand what that means, let me say that again — WE MIGHT HAVE INIESTA 2.0 ON OUR HAND IN SCORCHING FORM AND YOU ARE PLANNING TO START AN INJURY-HOBBLED BALE OVER HIM? Come on Zizou you are better than this.

And I think that you deserve to know this — I was never excited by the prospect of “BBC” during this season. When the trio started it out, it was based on two wingers who switched flanks consistently and wandered into the box to help out a reliable striker. But that’s not the case anymore. Ronaldo is as much a winger as Diego Costa a midfielder and Benzema still hasn’t recovered from his hobby of filming other people while they were having sex.

So when you are deploying the infamous “BBC” out on the field, you are basically giving the front three positions to two strikers (one of whom is not very good now) and a winger who thrives best when he gets to glide into the central area from the wing. All this leads to zippo spacing up front, and the sole responsibility of creating from the midfield is forced down the throat of Modric. Is it really a surprise that Modric has enjoyed his best two months ever since you employed an extra midfielder in the lineups?

So what’s the moral of the story?

Bale — No; Isco — Yes

2. No Danilo

How should I phrase this? Umm, okay, here it goes — Replacing Carvajal with Danilo is like replacing the hottest girl in the college who was happily in a relationship with you, with the girl who was just middle of the pack but you went out with her because you couldn’t find another woman. If you want to date, go with the nerd (Nacho), she may not be the hottest, but at least she will help you with your grades.

Nacho may not be the flashiest but he’s a safe pick. With Danilo on the pitch Ramos has to pay extra attention to the right flank and given that Ramos has not been the best of a defender himself for the last one year (that may sound like a hot take, but if you’ve seen enough Real Madrid games over the last year or so, you’ll know that it is not), it’s too much to ask of him. And whenever Danilo does foray forward, he usually underlaps instead of overlapping and crowds the already crowded midfield. So why not go with a defensively astute Nacho, especially given the pace and strength that Juventus possesses on the wings in Cuadrado and Mandzukic respectively?

3. Keep Kovacic handy

You aren’t getting away this time Zidane. Casemiro should’ve been sent off twice during this year’s competition, especially against Bayern in the second leg at home but you used one of your nine lives to keep him alive. Not happening anymore (unless you use another one of your lives). Felix Brych (who is German for some reason!!) must have kept tabs on how Casemiro squeaked by getting into the referee’s book and trust me if he’s on a yellow, I am betting $4271 that he’ll be off to the dressing room the next tackle he makes, even if it’s a 50–50 challenge.

So if Casemiro picks up a card, Allegri will instruct his players to get some reckless tackles out of him. So yank him out and put Kovacic in for him. Not an ideal substitution but he gives you 70–80% of the Brazilian’s production on defense and provides you with an additional playmaker on the field. That could be a part of the solution to unlocking the puzzle that is Juventus’ defense.

4. One of Asensio or Vasquez should be on the field when the final whistle blows

(You know you have made it big in the football world when a football channel puts up a video compilation of your skills and goals with crappy music blaring in the background)

I love both these dudes for two reasons:

1. They both provide some much-needed width and relieves Carvajal and Marcelo from the duties of being the sole provider of crosses out from the wing. As a result, they are less likely to venture forward and viola you have some defensive stability.

2. They are like Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle to Ronaldo’s Draco Malfoy, doing everything to please the spoilt brat by whipping in every cross and pass to CR7 (which makes sense because that spoilt brat is one of the two best players in the world).

(Don’t say this to Bale, but we might not need him at all in this final)

5. Take the first penalty kick

If you do win the toss before the penalty, don’t repeat the mistake of Simeone. Last year after winning the toss, his team decided to shoot second and when you do that there’s a 60% chance you will end up on the losing side. It is amazing how clubs who have invested billions in this business don’t pay attention to the basic science behind the sports.

It is even more amazing how many breaks you have gotten over the last 18 months — Atletico chooses to go first in the shootout, probably ends up winning the cup and you don’t even make it to the next season. If we do win the Champions League this season and can somehow turn this into an Alex Ferguson-esque dynasty, that Atletico coin flip will probably go down as one of the biggest what-ifs in the football history.

That’s what at stake here Zidane — a potential dynasty, and you more than anyone else has the full control over it. So take this opportunity with both hands because this could be the greatest thing that could ever happen to you as a professional (which is saying a lot, given your phenomenal career). You could be one of the best players ever and one of the best managers ever at the best club in the world.

Best of luck for the final Zizou.

Don’t write back; I won’t read it.

Regards
A Madridista