Report: Human Brain Declares Human Brain Most Impressive Creation
Westwood, CA — In a new report released by researchers from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) on Friday afternoon, the human brain has declared itself to be the most impressive creation in the universe thus far.
“There’s just nothing quite like us,” the human brain inside the mobility vessel made up of meat, water, and other organics named Kathy Meyers said. “The human brain, in my opinion, is the only thing that is worthy of the top spot in the universe.”
When pressed by reporters if the findings of this study could be a clear example of conflict of interest, research team member Luke Rodriguez declined to give a definitive answer.
“I mean, there potentially could be some influence rooted in bias when it comes to this new report,” said Rodriguez, one of the lead researchers. “But can you name another magnificently breathtaking creation that has had such a stimulating impact on its surroundings like the human brain? Me neither.”
Another member of the team — speaking on the condition of anonymity — told reporters to remain skeptical of today’s findings, as the human brain may have helped write the report, but that he couldn’t be quite sure on the amount of control it had throughout the process.
“Be vigilant,” he said. “The brain is a devious little bastard.”
