Sorry Vikings Fans — Sam Bradford Sucks
I went down the rabbit hole looking for some reason to believe. I’m still looking…
I need to tell you something. I am a Vikings fan. I can only wish that sentence read “I was a Vikings fan.”
Was, as of 1998. Was, as of the Love Boat. Was, as of Brett Favre. Was, as of yesterday. But it’s present tense. And future tense. I am a Vikings fan. It’s in my blood. It’s who I am.
Fans root for laundry, and my laundry is purple. And now Sam Bradford will wear purple laundry. Expensive first-round-and-then-some purple laundry.
When Teddy Bridgewater went down Tuesday, it was devastating. It was not entirely unexpected as a Vikings fan, but it was terrible nonetheless.
When you’re a fan of teams like the Vikings and Cubs and Manchester City, you grow accustomed to days like Tuesday. That stuff happens. Bridgewater happens. Favre happens. Bartman happens. Typical City happens.
As a fan, you find your way of shaking it off. Some people exercise. Some eat. Some go for a long walk with the dog. I take a long shower. I literally just need to wish the fan stank off of me.
On Tuesday I took a 45 minute shower.
There is no Sam Bradford shower.
The thing with torn knee ligaments and missed field goals and billy goat curses is that sort of stuff happens. It’s random, it’s narrative, and there’s not a whole lot you can do about it.
This Sam Bradford trade is different. It’s a self-inflicted wound.
If Sam Bradford gets injured again soon, like he always does, it won’t be random or narrative. It will be expected. It’s part of the package we now know as Sam Bradford, dating back even to his college days. It’s what the team just traded for. You can go to McDonalds and buy yourself a nice Big Mac and really hope it’s healthy for you, but no amount of hoping can disguise the gut bomb you just willingly ingested.
Sam Bradford is a Big Mac. He clogged the Rams and Eagles arteries for the last six years, and now he’s here to ruin Minnesota too.
But he’s ours now. So I went down the rabbit hole looking for a reason to be wrong, trying to find some hidden stat, some answer below the surface.
By all accounts, last year was Sam Bradford’s best ever as a professional football player. He set career highs in completion percentage, passing yards, and yards per attempt. He had his best win % ever in a season.
And he was terrible.
Take a look at some of the traditional ways of measuring QB success:
- Bradford had 3.6% TDs per attempt last season. That ranked 25th in the NFL behind such luminaries as Josh McCown, Brian Hoyer, and rookie Jameis Winston.
- Bradford’s 2.6% interceptions per attempt ranked 26th among all qualified QBs, worse than Jay Cutler, Blaine Gabbert, and so-good-he-played-for-two-teams-last-year Ryan Mallett.
- Remember how Bradford set a career high in yards per attempt? His 7.0 YPA was 26th in the league behind Brock Osweiler and Derek Carr. He finished just 0.2 yards ahead of Peyton Manning, who could barely even throw a ball seven yards last season.
- Bradford ranked 28th in adjusted yards per attempt. He ranked 30th in yards per completion. He was 33rd in total quarterback rating (QBR). In case you’ve forgotten, there are 32 NFL teams.
And remember — last year was peak Sam Bradford. He led the Eagles to 7–7 during his time at the helm, his first ever season finishing at .500 personally. This is the best he has ever been.
Last season a ridiculous 11 quarterbacks were chosen for the Pro Bowl. Sam Bradford was not one of them.
23 QBs have been selected to a Pro Bowl in the last four seasons alone. That list includes Andy Dalton, Robert Griffin, Alex Smith, Nick Foles, Matt Schaub, Derek Carr, Jameis Winston, and -yes- Teddy Bridgewater. It does not include Sam Bradford.
Over his career Sam Bradford has averaged 60% completions, 6.4 YPA, and a paltry 3.4% TDs per attempt. On a scale of 1 to 10, Sam Bradford’s career statistics are Donald Trump. They compare favorably to another former #1 overall bust David Carr.
Ah but dig deeper, I thought — what about when it really matters? Maybe Bradford is good on 3rd down or in the red zone, when a quarterback really earns his money.
Bradford’s career numbers on 3rd and 4th down: 52% completions and 5.7 yards per attempt. Worse than ever. And in the red zone? That drops to 47% completions. Literally less than half of his passes. Just miserable.
Oh but it’ll be different now, they say. Bradford’s never had good receivers, they say, or decent protection. He’s never had a runner like Adrian Peterson, you hear. It’ll be different in Minnesota!
Oh really?
Sam Bradford never had good receivers!!!
Last season Bradford’s top targets were Jordan Matthews, Nelson Agholor, and Zach Ertz. That’s a 1st round draft pick and a pair of 2nd rounders. He also had Darren Sproles, one of the greatest receiving backs in NFL history.
In four years with the Rams, Bradford’s receivers included Tavon Austin, Brian Quick, Lance Kendricks, Austin Pettis, Jared Cook, and Stedman Bailey. Every one of those six players was taken in the 3rd round or higher. Two were 2nd round pics. Tavon Austin was selected 8th overall. Bradford also had Steven Jackson for most of his Rams career, a terrific receiving back.
So you tell me — were all of those receivers just magically bad as soon as their teams drafted them? Or is it possible that they maybe didn’t have a quarterback that could routinely get them the ball?
Sam Bradford has never had a top 10 run game!!!
The year before Bradford joined the Rams, Steven Jackson ran for over 1400 yards for the team, second most in the league. At age 27, SJax played several years of his prime with Bradford.
Last year Bradford’s Eagles signed league-leading rusher DeMarco Murray, who had just run for 1850 yards in 2014 for the Cowboys. Murray was also age 27, in his prime.
Isn’t it interesting how good these running backs were, right up until Sam Bradford was their quarterback? It’s almost as if maybe the run and pass game are related somehow — like maybe defenses don’t respect the passing game and collapse on the run, or maybe the run game doesn’t work as well out of Bradford’s preferred shotgun set-up.
Experts have talked about the problem the last few years the Vikings have had with the shotgun offense, preferred also by Teddy Bridgewater. Bridgewater is significantly better out of the shotgun than under center — but Peterson is much worse as a runner and has openly complained about shotgun runs.
Bridgewater took 73% of his pass attempts out of the shotgun last year, most in the league. Sam Bradford was second at 69%.
Sam Bradford has never had good protection!!!
And he won’t this year either. Teddy Bridgewater was sacked 9% of the time he dropped back to pass last year, third worst in the league. That’s a sack every 11 pass attempts. The good thing about Bridgewater, if you remember from scouting reports, is that he was great at reading defense under pressure.
Remember how Sam Bradford’s career completion percentage is 60%? It falls to 37% when he’s pressured. IT FALLS TO 37% WHEN HE IS PRESSURED.
The Vikings spent one draft pick on an offensive lineman, Willie Beavers. They just cut him. They signed two cast-offs Andre Smith and Alex Boone, both now penciled in as starters. Matt Kalil is a starter too. Matt Kalil is awful.
This is bad.
Former #1 overall draft pick Sam Bradford has never once won more games than he’s lost in a season. Not once. His most wins in a season is 7.
Of course part of the reason for that is because he’s always hurt. Sam Bradford missed 37 games over the past five seasons. That’s more than 7 games missed per year, almost half the season!! Sam Bradford is so injury prone, he could probably get a paper cut reading this article on his computer.
And so, fellow Vikings fans, those last two paragraphs contain the only two silver linings I was able to find.
First, Sam Bradford is a former #1 overall draft pick. He’s duped two smart teams (and the Rams!) into turning their franchise over to him, and there’s sure to be another one waiting when the Vikings pull the plug.
Second, Sam Bradford is injury prone. So at least we’ll get to find out that Shaun Hill is just as good and likely better than him by the end of October.
Shhh Vikings fans, just close your eyes. It’ll all be over soon.
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