“I don’t need sympathy, I need empathy”
“Her smile was beautiful; she looked so happy; she was so successful; I wished I were like her……. I wished I had a life like her…… I wonder what made her take such a hard step!”
We are living in a world where almost everybody is running after success, fame, comfort, luxury and what not! We scroll through the pages of our social media feeds and wonder how happy people are!
But, it has been years now since I have been looking for an answer to a question, that I guess many of you would have had in your mind, “Why do people commit suicide?” Is it the fear of failure in academics, in the job, in relationships or in life? Or is it something else that we either tend to ignore or we do not have the courage to talk about?
It has been rightly said, “Appearances are often deceptive”. You might have come across people who were very successful and talented but ended up taking their own lives. I do know people who are very successful but are going through an extremely tough time in their lives but still, nobody can spot a sign of the stress on their faces.
As we grow up, we all realise that there are two worlds (and not just one) — an external and an internal world. Yes! The external what you call the society and an internal world that is just YOU — your mind, your heart and your soul!
We all have a perspective towards life and we all feel what we think is right. But, then we are also a part of the society, and thus we all have the tendency to blindly believe certain stereotypes because we do not want to be isolated. Let me ask you a question, “What do you do when somebody close to you suffers from any physical illness?” I guess the obvious answer would be “Rush to the hospital and help the patient recover from the illness!” Isn’t that so because you can see the signs and symptoms of any physical illness very easily? I guess by now you would have got a hint of what I am going to talk about next.
Now, let me ask you another question, “What do you do when you see somebody extremely happy, or maybe extremely sad or maybe avoidant in nature or extremely introverted or gloomy or exhibiting erratic moods and so on ….?” Would you mind if I say most of you judge such kinds of people? Some of you sympathise with them, some of you even troll them, some of you use your talent to create memes or bully them, or maybe some of you tend to ignore them completely because they are not behaving as normally as you expect them to or as you usually behave, and you simply move on. And one fine day, if that person takes his/her own life, then all of you shed a few tears thinking how nice a person he/she was and move on! But how many of you care to stop and understand what’s wrong when they are alive? Maybe a very few of you who are going through similar situations or circumstances.
Enough talk already! Let me come straight to the point now. Most of us are too busy in our lives to stop for a moment and talk to such people who are different from us. I simply wish to throw light on the mental health problems that people go through. I have had dear ones suffering from such mental health problems and I have closely felt their pain and have concluded that if not more, then it’s even not less painful to suffer from any mental illness than it is to suffer from a physical illness.
We comprehend depression as a very normal thing. But, there is much more to mental health. There are severe mood disorders, personality disorders, etc. that many of us are not even aware of. There are people out there who are unable to initiate a conversation with you even if they want to, there are people who are unable to feel happiness the way you do, there are people who know no other feeling than emptiness, there are people who are very successful but still are dead inside. Trust me, there are many ‘living dead bodies’ all around you. And, you can bring them back to life. Wondering how?
Whenever you come across such people, stop for a moment and try to observe and see life from their perspective. Take a step forward and initiate a conversation. Avoid using negative words in your conversations. Show patience rather than being aggressive and judgemental. If you cannot provide them with a solution, just be a good listener and a friend. Encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional if you feel there is something wrong or unusual.
When somebody suffers from a physical disability or is handicapped, we call them differently-abled. But, when somebody suffers from a mental illness, either we are unable to see it, or we judge them and call them ‘mad’ or tend to ignore them completely. Very few of us care to extend a hand of friendship.
It’s easy to sympathise with anybody and move on, but it takes a noble heart to empathise with people in need and help them in all possible ways you can. I genuinely believe that if each one of us could learn to empathise rather than sympathising, the world would be a much better place to live in and there would be more ‘living bodies’ than ‘living dead bodies’ on this planet.
