Down…down…the rabbit hole I go…

I want to share something that happened to me last weekend. No big event happened. No other people involved. No fireworks or crazy ending.

This entire event happened inside my head.

Last Friday I was feeling a little down. I was expecting to hear back from a few people regarding projects I’m currently working on. I sent out emails on Friday, “Just checking in…” but heard nothing.

By Friday night I knew nothing was going to happen until Monday. There was nothing I could do but think. Think thoughts like, “They probably hate what I wrote…they’re not going to publish my article.” or “I don’t know why I work so hard…nothing is going to change in my business.”

Those thoughts sat with me Friday night and into Saturday.

Even worse I had to go to the dentist on Saturday…ugh…that’s a whole other story. But the dentist is not the most exciting and uplifting place to be on a beautiful Saturday afternoon — trust me — it makes you question everything in your life.

I woke up Sunday to find a few messages, a few people I had expected to reach out contacted me. That felt good. Suddenly my mood changed. I felt a little better. “See,” I thought, “I am loved.”

Then it hit me.

I had fallen into the rabbit hole. The rabbit hole is a deep, dark place we all fall into when we start to feel low. Things aren’t working out as we thought…we start to sink…we start to blame the world around us…we sink deeper…we think nothing will ever change in our lives…down, down we go…into the rabbit hole of despair.

That was me. I was mentally beating myself up, being that drill sergeant I tell my clients not to listen to…I was right there…taking it all in and believing every word.

So what’s the point of all of this?

Well, first I want you to know no one has this “life” thing all figured out. Even though I went to school, read books, gave talks, spent countless hours talking about how to stop negative thinking…I still fall into the same trap…the same rabbit hole.

No one is immune.

Why?

Because we’re all human. We’re all trying to find meaning and purpose in our lives. We’re all trying to create connection and make lasting change.

The second thing is I want you to know your mind is so incredibly powerful. My mind took me on a rollercoaster this weekend, and while I’m not beating myself up (that never helps), I know there was a moment or two on Friday when I could have stopped myself from going down the rabbit hole.

The goal is to have enough awareness of your thoughts and feelings so that the moment you catch yourself going down the rabbit hole, you stop and reframe your thoughts. This is easier said than done but completely doable.

For me, it was the end of the day on Friday. Before I left my office that day I needed to spend some time thinking about everything I have accomplished this year, all the good things that were happening for me already and to be grateful for everything that I already had. I also needed to remind myself, my job is to show up, do the best I can, be present and kind and trust the outcome.

Again…not easy…but completely doable.

If this is you…leave a comment below. Tell me about it or even better maybe it’s time to make some changes. Seek the help you need to manage your own inner drill sergeant and stop going down the rabbit hole.