Love Yourself No Matter What

Today I want to talk about the relationship you have with yourself. You’ve probably already guessed that whether you’re living in the past or hiding from relationships that everything always boils down to the love you have for yourself.

Today’s topic: Love yourself with everything you’ve got

I know…I know…when I was single I hated it when people would tell me, “You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.” Ugh…yuck. So patronizing. I couldn’t stand it.

You know what’s even more annoying…they were right.

I didn’t realize in then but now that I’ve been married for over 15 years I can tell you…at the end of the day…you’ve only got yourself.

While there are wonderful things about being married, there are also challenges. I love my husband and enjoy being with him and his love for me makes me feel supported and loved but it also doesn’t make my problems go away.

All the interpersonal issues I had prior to meeting my husband…yep…still with me…still my responsibility to be aware of my s**t, call myself out on my s**t and deal with my s**t.

The goals and dreams I have for myself, they include my husband and son, but it’s still about me pushing back my fears to achieve what I want to achieve.

It begins and ends with me so I better love me because I’m with me a lot.

Action Step: Start to embrace doing things alone

So where do you start? You start by learning to love being with yourself.

I can’t tell you how many clients tell me they never do anything alone. They’ve never gone to eat alone, never gone to the movies alone, never taken a vacation alone and I think they’re really missing out. When you do things by yourself you get to choose when you go, when you leave and how long you stay.

Don’t wait to start doing the things you enjoy until you have someone to do things with all the time. If there’s an amazing art exhibit that you want to see but none of your friends do, go by yourself.

When you do things alone you get to make all the decisions. Most importantly, when you do things alone you’re opening yourself up to a new experience.

I don’t want you to go out and eat by yourself and suffer and be miserable the entire time just to prove to me that eating by yourself sucks. I want you to really embrace this experience and enjoy it. This is YOU after all…this is the most important connection in your life…so try to have a little fun.

Think about how distracted you get when you go eat with a friend, going alone allows you to really taste and savor your food. Yes, you may feel a little self-conscious and it may feel weird at first but remember you determine what “being alone” means to you.