The joys of North American #PaxEx, free snacks edition

The acts of American-based legacy airlines, where they continually shift the passenger experience goalposts, have mostly become (notable?) moments in the encyclopaedia of North American commercial aviation history.

With the re-introduction of free snacks in economy class (aka “coach”) for selected flights on American Airlines and United Airlines, news outlets have been quick to jump onto the celebratory bandwagon — and probably for good reasons where only the local market is concerned.

Nina Zipkin, writing for Entrepreneur.com, encapsulates this in her article’s opening paragraphs (emphases mine):

Air travel, with its serious lack of legroom, inevitable lines and unexpected delays, can be a less than desirable way to get from point A to point B — and that’s before you factor in high fees and potentially lost luggage.

But American and United Airlines are hoping that the reinstatement of free snacks in the coach section will make the trip more palatable for customers.

Passenger: Because a bag of free cookies/pretzels/stroopwafel/<insert snack here> will make the experience of flying significantly less excruciating? Hardly.

Airline: But redirecting the thought processes relating to the poorer passenger experience by offering satisfaction in the form of snacking? Win.

Ah, but let’s not forget that, once upon a time, drinks and snacks were complimentary to any flying passenger — and it was only because of the money-pinching efforts of those very same legacy airlines that we actually have something to talk about.

Industry writer, David Tait, in his weekly column ‘Tait on Travel’ (tip-of-the-hat to @​trustaviation via Twitter), makes a pretty solid case in the most appropriate language imaginable.

But what’s quite incredible about these moves is that it demonstrates how much these bozos just don’t get it. Here’s what Jimmy Samartzis, United’s vice president of food services had to say, “We’re refocusing on the big and little things that we know matter to our customers and shape how they feel about their travel experience. We’re bringing back complimentary snacks that are a nod to our global presence. They also add that extra level of service our employees will be proud to deliver and will make a big difference for our customers.”

“A nod to our global presence” — “will make a big difference to our customers”. What the hell is he smoking? And how many United cabin crew members are going to be “proud to deliver” a caramel filled waffle: “Here’s your Stroopwafel sir — take it or leave it.”

The patronising nature of such airline executives leaves a lot to be desired. Sadly, these public relation messages do much in the way of peddling ingenuity.

It’s really kind of sad. They had just got their passengers used to the fact that such “free” gourmet delights were a thing of the past. Everyone was becoming quite accepting of the new norm wherein (with a few exceptions like JetBlue and Virgin America) if you wanted snacks you had to pay for them. Like baggage fees and drinks, the a la carte model was settling in quite nicely but now, moves like this, just confuse the delicate status non-quo.

Word.

And it is this “delicate status non-quo” that dictates my choice of airline whenever I have the necessity of travelling domestically in the United States. Given the choice and availability for a specific routing, I would be very much inclined to fly with either JetBlue or Virgin America, and not have to put up with the condescending nonsense of its legacy competitors, all of which struggling to understand the true value aspects of the passenger experience.

But wait, there’s more! (emphases mine)

Delta for instance is out-pretzeling its two major competitors this week by introducing “Free (there’s that word again) Luvo chicken and veggie wraps” to coach passengers on it’s trans-con services. This sure makes those mini pretzels look pretty stingy, so undoubtedly the other two will have to respond and, before you can say “chicken or beef in a dog dish” we could be right back to square one.

If any more proof is needed that this is the thin end of the parmesan grilled chicken wedge, American has already said that in May it intends to start giving “free” meals to passengers travelling between Dallas/Ft. Worth and Hawaii. That’s great if you’re flying that particular route, but why for instance aren’t Miami to San Francisco passengers getting the same treatment, it’s a five-hour flight. So what about every flight of over four hours, especially those that extend over a mealtime? Here we go again.

Enough said — and I could not agree more.

To those who have questioned my views on legacy US-based airlines, and why I cringe at the thought each and every time:

“Get it?”

Kinny tweets aviation, social media and technology on Twitter.