From A Change of Heart to A Lifelong Fight
By Amanda Punzal | May 28, 2024
At 14 years old, I had a change of heart from wanting to be a doctor to dreaming about becoming a journalist. At 15 years old, I wrote an essay titled “My Biggest Desiderata” in my formal theme book originally as a requirement for my English class. Then, alongside my National Career Assessment examination result, this essay became my declaration to the change of heart I had.
The opportunity to tell stories, share information, partake in history, and meet people fascinated me. My face also gleamed with hope from gaining recognition from others either through my name on the byline or my voice on broadcast.
Filled with idealism, I embarked upon journalism twice with expectations of merely writing about anything and possessing a multitude of creativity. However, I found myself in a reality full of rough drafts, constructive feedback, and rampant attacks against the press. In fact, pursuing it the second time would become a battleground considering all of that.
Soon, I would not only have to produce stories in print or broadcast but also fight for my rights as an aspiring journalist.
A “Feature Writer”
When I was in 8th grade, I got my first taste of journalism by joining my junior high school’s journalism club. I started as a feature writer but also dabbled in other types of journalism. I stayed in this club until I was in 9th grade.
Three years later, I pursued journalism once again during my first year in college. First, I decided to study communication, eventually specializing in broadcast communication and journalism. I also joined my university’s official student publication, UP Baguio Outcrop. Despite not knowing how to write a proper news lead or a proper headline in my writing exam, the editors saw my potential.
I fortunately passed the exam and became a new member of this publication along with 74 other students. I eventually decided to become a feature writer at first, following the recommendation of one of the editors during an interview.
However, the struggles of pursuing journalism would catch up to me sooner than I have realized, given my rough journalistic skills and nervous demeanor.
The Struggling Student Journalist
“Being a journalist has its own sets of challenges and a harsh reality,” I wrote in the essay “My Biggest Desiderata.”
Mistakes were more prominent than the standards of excellence that I tried to live up to. This would soon manifest in many more ways. In many instances, I would lose precious time meant for legwork, writing, and editing due to stress and procrastination.
In fact, for every article I wrote, I ended up asking myself a lot of questions. What is the most newsworthy angle or topic for my stories? Who do I interview and how to approach them? Am I reporting these facts correctly? Did I give justice to the information and stories I share?
I would eventually bring similar thoughts during broadcast productions with a shaky voice and a tense body. I felt a lot of frustration and self-doubt as a result. I did not know if anything I did was considered right as I witnessed a lot of people doing better than I ever would. All of these thoughts then led me to wonder the reason I pursued it. Was I there to immerse myself in the spotlight or push the spotlight on the stories that truly matter?
The Fighter
2023 became a huge turning point in my pursuit of journalism which started when I edited an explainer reel about desaparecidos. Many articles later, I was not only seeing myself improving upon the craft but also a fighter for rights, especially with press freedom. This was further amplified by two articles I wrote that year. First, an article about the Palestinian and Filipino struggle against imperialism. Second, an opinion piece about the importance of peace talks between the National Democratic Front of the Philippines and the national government.
Thus, I can no longer just fight to keep my dream alive. I fight to simply have the right to do critical reportage. I have to fight for the truth and press freedom to claim their rightful places in the spotlight once again. A raised fist on my left hand and my laptop on my right, the change of heart I had at 14 became a lifelong fight started by great Filipino journalists including Kathleen Okubo and Luis Teodoro a long time ago.
When I pursued journalism again as a college student, it became a battleground between myself and a plethora of socio-political and personal challenges. I initially chased after the spotlight in hopes of working in the media industry after college.
Now, pursuing this career is no longer about gaining recognition from a byline or my voice but about shedding light on people’s stories, using the spotlight I once chased after. Therefore, as a 21-year-old college sophomore, I not only write for my dreams but join the fight for genuine press freedom in the Philippines.
